Before we launched, Jenn and I were in pre-engagement counseling and we took a stress test as a way to gauge different stressors and how we responded to them. Our counselor came back and said, “Steven, you scored the lowest stress we’ve ever seen on this test. You have like no stress at all.”
I semi-pridefully, semi-jokingly responded, “I guess it’s just trusting in Jesus!”
🙄
My 23-year-old self had yet to be introduced to the pressure cooker of cross-cultural life, ministry, and leadership. Man, I want to go back and slap that 23-year-old version of myself.
When we’re in our home countries, we perhaps unconsciously and easily move towards the things that keep our stress low and keep our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health high. There’s an abundance of resources to help you thrive and the added bonus that they are all in your own language. Pastors, small groups, counseling centers, local churches, friend groups, classes, workout groups, sports teams, etc.
Moving overseas, most of these are wiped away overnight.
In the chaos of transition, language learning, pioneering ministry, and team conflict, we can take for granted that all the ways we are used to pursuing health and thriving in our lives are no longer there. Additionally, the stressors in our lives spike to levels we’ve never experienced before: change in culture, climate, job, community, proximity to family, access to hobbies and other supports.
The Holmes-Rahe stress inventory gives a score for different stressful events that might happen in your life, like changing your job, death of a family member, or changing residences. Score over 200, and you had a 50% chance to have a major health breakdown within 2 years. Over 300, and that percentage would shoot to 80%. Dr. Lois Dodds of Heartstream Resources did some analysis of first year missionaries’ stress levels according to the Holmes-Rahe stress inventory. They found that first term missionaries peaked at 900 and even veteran missionaries averaged about 600!
Yikes.
As we’ve repeatedly said before, much of what is posted on this blog are lessons from how NOT to do it. Jenn and I completely disregarded any thought of health and powered through new marriage, transitions, team leadership, language school, and pioneering ministry without a thought of how to manage our stress, much less be aware of how we were doing.
In month 6 on the field, we noted that I had been sick almost every month upon landing on the field when I barely got sick once a year in the States. At a team meeting in our second year, out of curiosity I asked the team to raise their hands if they had experienced the following “minor” health issues: regular migraines/headaches, panic / anxiety attacks, eye twitching, vertigo, stomach issues (both directions), increase in colds/sickness, weight gain, difficulty sleeping, random muscle pains, and hives. As I went through the list, at least half to ⅔ of the team raised their hands. Except the stomach issues one. That one was 100%.
Even on our own team, we didn’t know that we were all experiencing these issues.
Before you launch to the field you hear of the extreme stories of missionaries thrown into jail or maybe even those that have seizures and find out they have brain cancer. But what’s often not mentioned is the ongoing, dangerously high levels of stress that we experience at a regular level.
There’s also an underlying, unmentioned belief among goers that the more you suffer, the holier you are. And it’s true that Romans 5 tells us that suffering produces perseverance, which produces character. But I think holiness and character are produced from how we respond to suffering, not just whether we have it. There’s nothing particularly holy about disregarding your own health or your family’s or team’s out of ignorance. How can goers persevere amidst all of this?
After 10 years of living on the field, our first answer is still abiding in Jesus through our union with Christ. Realizing when you’re anxious or stressed, surrendering control, and receiving what you need from the vine.
Secondly, setting rhythms and boundaries for health is critical for sustained thriving on the field.
At the end of 2022 as we were about to head back to Thailand after Jenn’s cancer treatment, our counselor asked us how we were going to pursue healthy rhythms after returning. I told her I wasn’t sure, and she asked, “When was a season in Thailand when you felt you were healthy?”
“I don’t think I’ve ever had a season in Thailand when I was healthy.”
She gave us the following tool to complete before returning: Red-Yellow-Green Health Markers.
Red-Yellow-Green Health Markers
Summary: With culture stress, ministry challenges, and life transitions, life on the field as a cross-cultural worker can quickly cause areas of physical, mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual health to suffer. This tool is meant to help workers self-evaluate what their markers of health are, and establish rhythms to help them maintain thriving.
Red: markers that indicate you are outside a window of tolerance, need to take a hard stop and make changes.
Yellow: markers that indicate you need to take caution, slow down, and go back to green. Warning signs to pay attention to.
Green: markers that indicate that you are healthy and thriving when these are in place.
Below is an example table of what indicators and rhythms you could add. These can span physical, mental, emotional, relational (e.g. marriage/singleness, team, ministry partners, friendships, spiritual community), and spiritual areas of life. You can take the template and fill in your own health markers. Feel free to add any categories that might have a significant impact on your health, including travel, schedule, personal development, or anything else that is helpful.
| Red | Yellow | Green | |
| Indicators | Physical: – low energy / headaches / mouth sores / pain / panic attacks – restless sleep Mental: – unable to stop thinking about work Emotional: – easily angry / anxious – unhealthy coping mechanisms Relational: – feeling isolated / lonely / apathetic about relationships Spiritual: – low/nonexistent times with the Lord – falling into sin patterns – difficulty connecting with the Lord | Physical: – holding stress in muscles – inconsistent sleep and exercise Mental: – difficult to quiet mind Emotional: – beginning to feel anxious Relational: – inconsistent relational connections Spiritual: – inconsistent times with the Lord -beginning to be apathetic about spiritual life | Physical: – sufficient energy – consistent sleep, diet, and exercise Mental: – not mentally overburdened, well-defined boundaries Emotional: – stable emotional health, able to process emotions well Relational: – consistent relational connections Spiritual: – consistent times with the Lord -spiritual life growing deeper and richer |
| Rhythms | Physical: – < # hours of sleep – #+ nights / week of poor sleep Mental: – x hours of escapism / coping Emotional: – more than # anger or anxiety outbursts / week Relational: – no consistent accountability or community meeting for more than x weeks Spiritual: – < # quiet times a week | Physical: – < # hours of sleep – #+ nights / week of poor sleep Mental: – x hours of escapism / coping Emotional: – more than # anger or anxiety outbursts / week Relational: – inconsistent accountability or community meetings for x weeks Spiritual: – < # quiet times a week | Physical: – #+ nights of healthy sleep / week Mental: – x hours of healthy recreation / rest Emotional: – low # of anger / anxiety outbursts Relational: – consistent accountability or community meetings for x weeks Spiritual: – # quiet times a week |
After each filling this out, Jenn and I have tried to adhere to these rhythms as best we can for the past 2 years. We had our counselor check in and help us honestly evaluate how we were doing for the first two quarters. For the most part, we’ve been in and out of the yellow-green areas, which has been way better than our first 8 years on the field. And when we have weeks where we dip into the red markers, we’re both much more aware of it and quick to enact some changes.
Our encouragement for those that are on the field is to take a day of prayer and evaluate your health indicators and rhythms. Share your markers with a supervisor, leader, or member care friend and ask them to check you on it monthly or quarterly.
We want to persevere until the vision that God has given is accomplished! Constantly redlining into burnout and unhealth is a sure way to leave the field or be forced out before that vision is realized. More than that, the promises of Jesus are for abundant life (John 10:10), for a light burden and easy yoke and rest for our souls (Matthew 11:28-30), for an overflowing cup and refreshment for our souls (Psalm 23). The lie of our flesh or pride is that goers must only suffer and not thrive. And while seasons of suffering are almost guaranteed for the goer, it is to release us into more thriving! May we be an example of overflowing, abiding fruitfulness that multiplies into those we lead and into new disciples among the nations.