“I don’t want to go to the unreached. But I also can’t ignore this conviction.”

In 2012, I (Jenn) had journaled this sentiment over and over again. As we kept pursuing steps to move overseas, fears of permanent commitments and of wasting my life persisted.

In the summer of 2012, we took a vision trip to Thailand. We were going to learn more about the country, explore different cities and types of ministries, and see what life could look like overseas. As we met missionaries who had counted the cost and heard their stories, I felt hope and joy at how God was moving in Thailand. We experienced God’s victory as we prayer walked through red light districts and Thai neighborhoods. Each experience challenged the doubt I felt. But I remember feeling like a hypocrite – saying that I was ready to move overseas while internally unwilling to surrender.  

One night, the dissonance had reached a breaking point and the Spirit chose to address the doubts in my heart. And in his kindness, he brought Steven to encourage me and pray together with me. In that time God gave me the faith and clarity that I was begging him for – certainty that this was what I was supposed to do. I had thought this vision trip was centered on learning about Thailand, but to my surprise God revealed lies in my own heart that were blocking me from responding to his calling! And He brought me to a point of surrender.

A vision trip is an essential step in the process of recruiting new teammates to your team. As we’ve mentioned before, who you recruit to your team has one of the biggest impacts on your team’s health, culture, and efficacy in pursuing your mission. A vision trip is one of the best ways to evaluate a potential teammate and see how they engage with and respond to the place where you’re serving. It’s also a critical juncture for the recruit to hear from the Lord and discern their future, like the 2012 vision trip was for Jenn.

For team leaders that already live overseas, most of the interaction with potential teammates is through video calls and emails/messages. It’s difficult to get to know a person beyond the surface level without spending some time with them in person. It’s also difficult for a potential recruit to really feel, experience, and understand the place they’re considering without going there to visit. You and they don’t know how they’ll respond when they’re in context. That’s where a vision trip comes in.

We personally would never officially invite a potential recruit to join the team until they’ve taken a vision trip.

We’ve hosted over 20 units on vision trips to consider our teams, and here are some of the things we’ve learned and things we’d suggest as you host potential recruits on a vision trip.

Vision Trip Basics

A note of caution: hosting vision trips takes a lot of work. It will disrupt your normal team and ministry rhythms, but it is a worthwhile investment if you’re trying to recruit new teammates. 

Goal of a Vision Trip: The objective of the trip is two-fold – for you as the leader to evaluate the vision trip participant’s readiness and fit to join your team and ministry, and for the potential recruit to discern their calling to this specific field and team. For them, you want to create a vision trip schedule that allows them to experience your context in enough breadth and depth to get an idea of what life on the field could be like. And for you as the leader, you need to gather enough information about them during this in-person time to help you make an informed decision about whether or not to invite them to the team.

As a leader, take note of their posture and attitude during the trip. Are they eager to learn? Flexible and courageous to deal with strange experiences? Humble and teachable? Do they have good interactions with the local culture or is everything a struggle? Do they relate well with you and your team or is their tension/friction?

How Long Should a Vision Trip Be?: We’d recommend about a week as a target, not including travel time. International travel is tiring, jetlag can hit hard, and giving just a week to focus on one of the biggest decisions in their lives and your team is prudent. Trying to squeeze in what you need in 3 days while jetlagged is almost not worth having the vision trip. We’d also not recommend much longer than 1-2 weeks for a vision trip unless you’re equipped to handle short/mid-term workers, which then is something different than just a vision trip.

When Should You Schedule a Vision Trip?: Generally, vision trips should happen later in the process of recruiting. Potential recruits should have gone through the initial steps of applying for your sending organization and going through assessments before you buy tickets for them to come visit. You don’t want them to raise all the funds, spend significant time, and potentially get their or your team’s hopes up for them to join only to discover major red flags that prevent them from serving long-term. There are some exceptions like if they will already be in the region for some other travel, but those are more like taking advantage of the proximity to get to know someone before recommending them to start the application process.

Also, because of the amount of time investment for your team, we’d recommend that you try to schedule potential recruits to come at the same time so you don’t have to disrupt your schedule multiple times, or if possible, during some slower seasons of ministry.

Preparation for a Vision Trip

In order to take advantage of the major commitment in time and money for the relatively short amount of time they are there, you, your team, and the recruits should prepare well for the vision trip.

Introductory Video Calls: Hopefully, you can have more than one call to get to know them before they come. You want to get through some of the basic introductory conversations before they come so you have a sense of who they are. That way, you can engage in some deeper topics with them personally or context/experience-specific activities when they’re in-person. You can even consider having them join a group call with some of your teammates as well.

Prep Logistics: As those who have already gotten used to living overseas, we forget that international travel is a big deal for people. Some vision trippers may have never even left their country before. Consider logistics like flights, vaccinations, travel insurance, sim cards, housing, food restrictions, attire, packing lists, etc. and help vision trip participants prepare well for these things.

Support Raising / Prayer Team: There’s a significant financial cost for vision trip participants, so some coaching from yourself or your sending agency/church may be helpful for them if they’ve never support-raised before. You may want to give them an example from some of your support-raising documents to help them prepare. Also, provide a clear and detailed budget for what they need to raise for the vision trip costs.

At the same time as support raising, they should be inviting people to join a prayer team that will be praying for the participant to hear from the Lord during their vision trip. It’s very simple to set up a messaging group and send daily updates during their time in-country. This can also become the basis for a long-term advocacy team that will support them as they serve long-term.

Pre-Vision Trip Learning: Any resources (youtube videos, prayer guides, books/articles) about your country, the primary religion, the people, and your ministry that you can send beforehand will help the vision trip participants start to familiarize themselves with your field. We’d recommend giving them some required content as a basic introduction and some more optional things if they’re interested and want to continue learning. It also gives you some idea of whether or not they are a learner, a self-starter, and teachable.

Spiritual Warfare: Vision trips can be significant points for the Enemy to discourage and attack. Obviously, the Enemy wants to prevent people from serving long-term, and this can happen through spiritual warfare during a vision trip. Just as adequate preparation is needed with logistics around international travel, leaders need to prepare vision trip participants for the realities of spiritual warfare. This can be done through sending them some readings/Bible studies, blog posts, or just having a quick online training call before the trip.

Set Good Expectations: Lastly, because of the shortened time and very new experiences for vision trip participants, it’s important to set good expectations for the objectives of the trip and outline details of the different activities and schedule. It can be written up in a simple document and explained before the trip.

What to Include in a Vision Trip

Since every team and every potential recruit is different, vision trips can be adjusted to create the most helpful experience for them. For example, vision trips for families with children would be different from vision trips for singles or couples. Below are components that we would include in every vision trip.

Time to Connect with God: Since the primary objective for the vision trip participant is to discern their calling and team fit, it’s extremely important to prioritize setting aside time to connect with God, process what they’ve learned, and listen in prayer. The temptation is to pack the schedule with cool activities from morning to night, but we’ve found that to be counterproductive on a vision trip. Set the schedule and expectation that every morning, there will be personal time with God, and in the evening, time to debrief and crystallize what they’ve learned. Vision trips will inevitably be a fire hose of information and experiences, so protecting time to process and summarize what God is trying to show them is critical for an effective experience.

Here are some questions (credit to Lauren M.!) that you as the leader can consider as you set up a vision trip for potential recruits:

• What does He want the recruits to see, know, or experience about him, the place, and the people there? 

• What are ways you can create space for recruits to hear from the Lord and connect with Him throughout the trip?
• What was impactful to you in a previous vision trip, or in your first month in context? What helped open your eyes? Could those be helpful for them, too?

Arrival Orientation: When participants arrive, don’t just release them into the wild. Once they’ve arrived and gotten settled, start the first full day with an arrival orientation. Review the objectives for the trip, overall schedule, and expectations. Give a basic rundown on cultural need-to-knows (like avoiding anything extremely offensive), attire, and basic language phrases like “Hello” or “Where is the bathroom?” (very important). At our orientation in Thailand, we even had a long-time worker show us the step-by-step of how to use a squatty potty! And we’ve included this in every vision trip orientation since then!

Cultural Experiences: Helping participants get exposure to the culture and environment is a primary goal during the vision trip. Prepare experiences where they can learn some cultural basics about the history, religion, and people through visiting city centers, markets, museums, and places of worship. Focus on educational experiences where they can see, feel, hear, touch over simply sitting in a room listening to a lecture. 

Allow them to engage with the spiritual climate in your city and country. Encourage them to ask God where He is moving and what He wants them to know about this place. Below, Jenn will give a breakdown on how to do a temple/mosque prayer walk which is always one of the most impactful parts of a vision trip.

Since one of the first things new recruits will do when they arrive is focusing on language learning, you can give them an opportunity to sit in on a language class or have a short session with a language partner or tutor for a fun lesson.

Team Interactions: Set up opportunities for the participants to interact with your teammates in multiple formats including formal team meetings, informal gatherings, out in ministry activities, and personal 1-on-1s. Give them a basic overview of the team history, formation, vision, and strategy. Create the space for them to experience the team culture and values and see if it fits what they’re looking for in a team and vice versa.

Ministry Exposure: If you can let vision trippers shadow you during a mission activity, awesome. But because of limitations like language or travel, inviting several vision trippers into a ministry opportunity isn’t always feasible. As much as possible, try to give them an idea of what day-to-day ministry looks like. At the very least, bring them to a local church you attend, set up a meeting with a local believer, or go onto a college campus to try and talk to / share with some college students who tend to have better English. Vision cast to them where their gifts and strengths could contribute to the ministry and team!

Making Local Connections: This can be combined with the ministry engagements, but we’d recommend giving vision trip participants the opportunity to meet local people, both believers and non-believers. Allow them to ask questions about their lives, the culture, things that foreigners moving to their country should know. Nearly 15 years after our vision trip to Thailand, for me all the cultural experiences, though important, kind of all blend together. But I still remember the first time we shared the gospel with a local shopkeeper, or talked to a university student about life in Thailand. After all, the potential recruits are wanting to join your team and ministry to serve the local people – so let them have an opportunity to meet some!

Do Something Fun!: Make sure you set up times in the schedule to have a fun experience! It could be something unique to your context (on some vision trips we bring people to see elephants in Thailand!), or just a fun activity in general. Vision trip schedules tend to be packed and busy and tiring – times for fun will be refreshing, help keep the participant’s experience positive, and are opportunities for team interactions in a more social environment.

Allow for Exploration Time: Although we recommend preparing a schedule and thinking through logistics, facilitate chances for participants to explore the city or things they’re interested in without a teammate or guide. If the long-term team is always with them, the participants will inevitably look to them for what conclusions to draw from different places, people, experiences. Serving overseas is an adventure, so allow them a taste of what it’s like to navigate a new culture and place on their own! Something like a scavenger hunt can be fun and exploratory. Even if they have a negative experience, help them debrief why or discover what the friction point was. 

Life Realities: Many of the questions that recruits will have will be around what daily life looks like on the field. Even simple things like visiting grocery stores, navigating local transport, answering visa questions, are helpful for people considering moving long-term. Give them an idea of what it is like to live in your city and how they can adjust some of their normal rhythms that help them to thrive. For example, if they enjoy nature, help them figure out where they can find parks or nature environments. Not everything from your home context will have a substitute on the field, but at least exploring these ideas will help your potential recruits feel like they could live in your context.

If you’re considering recruiting families, it’s a good idea to try to have the entire family come on the vision trip even though there’s a significant cost. Especially focus on helping the kids to have a positive experience! 

Vision Trip Resources

Below are two more tools that we use on every vision trip: prayer walking through places of spiritual sites and vision trip debriefs. Feel free to adapt them to your context. There are some blanks for you to insert your team and ministry location.

Religious and Spiritual Sites Prayer Walk: It is important to cast the perspective that our work is ultimately spiritual in nature and that there are spiritual powers at work, both for and against us. Many of the locations we serve will have locations like temples or mosques where much of this spiritual activity can be encountered and felt. The purpose of a prayer walk through these locations is to have participants (1) engage the spiritual climate of your location, (2) to bring the authority of Christ into these places, and (3) experience God’s heart for the people you are serving. This document is a self guided prayer and reflection tool for how to prepare for a prayer walk, how to pray during the walk, how to pray afterwards, and reflection questions for further processing. 

Vision Trip Debrief: Vision trip participants undergo a variety of new experiences, and likely are taking in a firehose of new information. Having an end of vision trip debrief is critical in order to help participants crystallize and process this information and to come up with clear takeaways and next steps. Here is a document of questions to choose from that you can use to help debrief vision trip participants. You can also use that time to ask some potential ‘interview’ questions that you’d prefer to ask in person instead of online.

Conclusion

We know this is a lot of components for a vision trip but many can be combined/included within a single activity. It’s a major commitment for someone to transition to the field, so addressing each of these and any other questions they may have is really valuable!

Also, things will not go perfectly on a vision trip and we shouldn’t expect them to, as life overseas is chaotic and surprising! Challenging moments like missed flights, food poisoning, and confusing interactions in the local culture are good opportunities to see how potential recruits respond and help them understand what God is trying to show them through it.

Each person is on their own journey of discerning their calling from the Lord, and a vision trip can be a cornerstone moment in that journey. We can trust that God is speaking through each processing time, each experience, and each interaction during the vision trip to bring the right people to your team.

Write the vision, make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it.

I was 20 years old at Urbana 2009. A vision cast from a person I didn’t know, have never talked to, and have never met again, changed the course of my life.

I had just gone to Thailand on a short-term trip that opened my eyes to the reality of the unreached. God had started to put on my heart the possibility of serving overseas. As a part of that process, I went to Urbana, Intervarsity’s triennial missions conference for students. A bunch of other friends from our Intervarsity chapter at UT Austin went, including several that ended up on our original team in Thailand.

Between the plenary sessions, there were opportunities to go to different workshops about different topics, whether business as mission, social justice, or different evangelism methods. One workshop that caught my eye was named “Costly Discipleship: Incarnation, Jesus, and The Way of the Cross.”

Most of the workshops had been helpful and informative, but mostly informal and casual. As we sat down, a man in his 30s walked up to the front. He said, “My name is John David Pitts. My wife and I were kicked out of Pakistan 6 weeks ago. We are going back in 4 weeks. In all likelihood we will be thrown into prison or killed.”

“Today, we are going to call you to come and die.”

I could feel the tension in the room rise as our attention was fixed on the speaker. For the next 45 minutes, John simply presented the hard sayings of Jesus and taught on them.

John 15:20 – “Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours.”

Luke 14:26-27 – “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.

Matthew 16:24-25 – “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

At the end, he concluded by saying, “Following Jesus requires radically high levels of commitment. His final command was to go and make disciples of all the nations.”

Instead of taking questions, he released us to go spend time with God. I went straight to the prayer room and for the next 2 hours surrendered my life to Jesus. I felt the Holy Spirit say, “If you believe the Gospel, you’ll go to the nations.”

I made my commitment to serve overseas long-term on December 30, 2009.

Vision casting is a powerful form of communication that is critical in our pursuit of the Great Commission. Ministry, missions, and movements are really, really difficult. If we don’t have vision to guide us, we won’t have a clear direction and can get distracted by the urgent and needy. If we aren’t reminded of that vision regularly, we can get discouraged or apathetic.

For missions team leaders, casting vision is needed to recruit people to your team, to motivate your team and partners towards the end goal, to encourage people to persevere, to excite people and give them courage for the work, to and many more opportunities. Vision is needed to help yourself to focus on abiding and endure through suffering. John David Pitts casted the vision towards me for radical commitment to following Jesus and making disciples among the unreached, and I’m still pursuing that vision today.

Our definition of a leader is a man or woman that receives vision from God to influence the people of God towards the purposes of God. The vision piece is critical for leaders, because it is what you use to influence those that you lead towards God’s purposes in their lives. If you don’t have a clear vision, then you’re probably not yet a leader.

What is Vision?

A vision is an end goal, an eventual reality that you want to achieve. It should be biblical, faith-driven, and derived from prayer and listening to the Lord.

There’s a lot of articles on vision and mission statements for businesses, organizations, and even churches. The challenge is that there’s often a lot of overlap between vision, mission, calling, and purpose.

For me, vision is why you (or your team or ministry) exist, and mission is what you do to accomplish that vision. Although I think it’s worth writing down a vision statement, I’m not going to focus too much on the specific details of vision statements but talk more about vision in general.

These are some questions you can consider to try and figure out what God’s vision is for your life:

• What has He called you to give your life to?
• Why / For what purpose does you or your team or ministry exist?
• What is the future picture of the world that you desire to make a reality?
• What makes you “pound the table” / keep you up at night? (something that you’re passionately moved by and want to impact)

After considering these questions, if it’s not already derived from Scripture, see what in the Bible aligns with this vision. Bring it to the Lord in prayer, and listen to the Holy Spirit to see what he says about it. 

We’d also encourage you to think big when it comes to vision! Don’t just think about what you can accomplish by yourself. Big vision forces us to hear from God and depend on God. Big vision should require faith, since “without faith it is impossible to please God” (Hebrews 11:6). Big vision should be beyond our capabilities, beyond ourselves, perhaps even beyond our lifetime!

For our team in Thailand, our vision is “To see multiplying churches among all UPGs in Southeast Asia, through mobilizing the church to catalyze CPMs.”

For our Yield Coaching Ministry, our vision is “To advance the Great Commission by developing abiding leaders to catalyze movements among the unreached.”

These are things that are far bigger than ourselves, and things that I would gladly give my life, time, and effort for.

There’s a few examples in Scripture of vision. Obviously there are specific visions through dreams and images that God gives, and those would fall under the general umbrella of what we call ‘vision.’

For Jesus, there are a few strong candidates for what His vision would be. It could be bringing the Kingdom of God (Luke 4:18-19), coming to give eternal life through his sacrifice (John 3:16), or simply embodied in the Great Commission, that there would be disciples from all the nations (Matthew 28:18-20).

For Paul, as a minister to the Gentiles, his vision and ambition given by God was to “preach the gospel, not where Christ has already been named” (Romans 15:20). He would largely fulfill this vision by pioneering the early church and state that “from Jerusalem and all the way around to Illyricum I have fulfilled the ministry of the gospel of Christ” (Romans 15:19).

Lastly, the ultimate vision for all believers is the gathering of all the nations around the throne of Jesus in Revelation 7:9. This is an actual vision given to John of what will happen in the end times, and remains a clear and motivating vision for many of those called to serve in the nations.

After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!

Revelation 7:9

Why is Vision Important?

Habakkuk 2:2 gives a compelling argument that writing down clear vision allows the people of God to run. Proverbs 29:18 gives the opposite side: “Where there is no vision, the people perish” (KJV).

Vision helps you and your team to determine your direction, your ultimate goal, and the purpose for which you exist. From there, every other strategy, objective, plan, and decision should be aligned with that vision. In order for your vision to be helpful, it should be clear, memorable, and inspirational.

If a vision is your ultimate goal, a strategy plan is the steps for how to get there. By creating a strategy plan that flows from your vision, you can make decisions on what to do, and more importantly, what not to do. One way that we’ve heard movement practitioners summarize it is, “Big Vision, Clear Path, Simple Steps.” The clear path is the strategy plan or ministry framework you use to guide you towards that vision. The team or movement leader’s job is to set the vision, give the clear path, and make sure your teammates know the next, simple steps for that day/month/year towards that path and vision.

As a leader, you should be considering the vision, embodying the vision, and communicating the vision constantly. But sometimes if all we give is vision without a clear path and simple steps, it can be initially motivating but people that we lead may not know what to do next. Eventually that motivation will fade if there’s no way to progress towards that goal. That’s why strategy and simple steps of obedience are important.

But without vision to guide your strategy and simple steps, you can simply go from one urgent thing or one opportunity to the next, and not know if you are making any progress towards the end goal God has called you towards. As Paul says about his focus on his apostolic work, “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it” (1 Corinthians 9:24). If you are willing to sacrifice so much to make disciples and obey God, work and run in such a way to win the prize, to complete the vision!

Sometimes people are confused between determining and casting a vision that helps you focus on your end goal, and casting vision that just seems to be generally motivating for people. These are certainly related! Talking about your specific vision statement and giving focus to it (why we exist, how we can get there, etc.) is vision casting, and motivating people through encouragement and inspiration is also vision casting! You need to do both types of vision casting as a leader.

Once your team is clear about the end vision of why your team exists, you need to consistently help them focus on it and motivate them towards it. We’ve heard it said that vision is a leaky bucket, it needs to be constantly refilled or else it runs out!

Ways to Cast Vision

There are many, many ways to cast vision – these are a few methods that we come back to often. We use these after our end vision is established, and we need to cast vision to motivate and focus those that we lead towards that end vision. 

Our main recommendation is to pay attention when you are praying, reading Scripture, or watching someone casting vision and it moves your heart – use that as a vision cast! Think about what has been effective in motivating you, helping you focus on the vision, inspires you to keep going. Steal those vision casts and make them your own! This also requires that you as a leader should be proactive in receiving vision through prayer, Scripture, reading books, listening to stories, etc.

Here are a few different ways to cast vision:

Through Scripture

If vision is given by God, then God’s Word is the most surefire way to receive vision and deliver vision to others. Look for key passages that align with your team and ministry vision and are motivating towards it!

Vision Casting in Scripture: When God is casting vision or when biblical leaders cast vision in Scripture, many times those vision casts can be a great example to point to. Some examples might be God casting vision to Joshua to take the land of Canaan (Joshua 1), Nehemiah mobilizing the people to rebuild the walls (Nehemiah 2), and Paul’s exhortation to the Romans about his ambition to preach where Christ has not been named (Romans 15).

Promises of God: When you need to cast vision in terms of giving encouragement, the promises of God are a great way to help your team lift their eyes from their current situation and look to the future reality that God has promised He will bring to fruition! In the future we’ll have a post about the promises of God for movement practitioners. Think about what your team is feeling like they’re lacking or having difficulty believing will happen – find the promises of God in Scripture that directly answer those doubts! Read them, surrender your fears and doubts, and receive the faith and courage to believe the promises and persevere until they are fulfilled!

Through Listening Prayer

Prayer is another surefire way that you can receive vision from God to communicate to others. It requires asking and listening to the Lord about what He wants to tell the people you lead.

A Word You’ve Received: As you’re in prayer for your team and ministry, what is God telling you? What Scripture is He highlighting, what promises is He elevating? Listening in prayer and relaying it to your team is a powerful way to cast vision.

Listening Together: Sometimes, the Word I would receive from God was just to seek Him together. I wouldn’t come into a team meeting with a prepared message to share, but would set aside our normal meeting agenda to let the team simply sit and listen to the Lord. We’d then all share what we were hearing and look for the common theme the Holy Spirit was trying to convey to us! This is a great way to include your team in receiving vision directly from the Lord instead of always hearing it through you as the leader. A great example is in Acts 13 when the leaders at Antioch were worshipping, praying, fasting and heard the Holy Spirit set apart Barnabas and Saul, sparking new movements in the region.

Now there were in the church at Antioch prophets and teachers, Barnabas, Simeon who was called Niger, Lucius of Cyrene, Manaen a lifelong friend of Herod the tetrarch, and Saul. While they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, “Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.” Then after fasting and praying they laid their hands on them and sent them off.

Acts 13:1-3

Through Personal Convictions or Stories

Your Own Stories: The personal experiences that are cornerstones in your own journey towards the vision God has given you can also be motivating for others! Share stories of experiences you’ve had that opened your heart to pursuing this vision, that encouraged you that God was moving, that were examples of this vision starting to be a reality. Make sure you tell the story in a way that is encouraging for those that are listening, not just nostalgic for yourself!

Stories of God Working: Stories of miracles, answered prayers, changed lives, and salvations are great vision casts to get people excited about joining in what God is doing in your region or ministry. When you hear stories of God working in other places or in history that make you excited and you start to desire those things in your ministry, take note and share that with others! For example, I tried to hear as many stories of movements happening all around the world to build my own faith that it was possible here in Thailand, especially things that were sparking in the Buddhist world. If they worked for my heart, surely some of them would work for those I was leading! I would tell these stories and ask the question, “Why not us, and why not now?” And that would be the basis of our pleas to God in prayer!

Inspirational People Missions and Their Words:

Reading the biographical stories of great missions leaders throughout history has inspired countless people to follow in their footsteps. These faithful pioneers in our past have many lessons for us to learn. Recounting some of their stories and sharing their quotes are a great way to cast vision. Some of our favorites:

• Jim Elliot – “Canst thou bear this, my soul – short life? In me there dwells the Spirit of the Great Short-Lived, whose zeal for God’s house consumed Him. ‘Make me Thy Fuel, Flame of God.’”
• Hudson Taylor – “If I had a thousand lives, China should have them. No! Not China, but Christ. Can we do too much for Him? Can we do enough for such a precious Saviour?”
• Amy Carmichael – “We will have all eternity to celebrate our victories, but only a few short hours to win them.”

Through Needs and Opportunities

A vision, a future reality, isn’t needed if everything is perfect in your current reality. Your vision is trying to meet a need or answer an opportunity that exists in the world today. Illustrating that need or opportunity and how you want to respond to it can be a compelling way to draw people towards your vision.

Stories About the Need: During our first trip to Thailand, we were struck by the lack of access to the gospel across the country coupled with the spiritual darkness in Buddhism and Animism. Jenn and I met a shop owner who had never even heard the name of Jesus before. We heard testimonies of Thai believers who were miraculously delivered from demonic oppression. These stirred our hearts to want to make a difference, to proclaim Christ where there was no foundation. We relayed these stories to others to see if God would also stir their hearts to join us!

Unique Current Opportunities: As we said earlier, people want to join with what God is doing. Sharing about current opportunities can convey a sense of urgency that is compelling. During our early years in Thailand, a Thai pastor told us , “Thailand is based on 3 pillars – Religion, Country, and Monarchy. Right now all three are shaky and Thai people don’t know where to place their hope. There is a great opportunity for the gospel!”

Statistics and Maps: Sometimes, illustrating the vision through statistics or maps can be powerful forms of vision casting. I’ll always remember at Perspectives when one speaker told us that Americans spend more money on costumes for pets at Halloween than on bringing the gospel to the unreached. Juxtaposing such a trivial category against the core of the Great Commission was a sobering challenge to give sacrificially and in a focused way towards the unreached. Using maps can also be a memorable way to cast vision. The 10/40 Window is a striking combination of a map with a statistic: over 95% of the world’s unreached population lives within the 10/40 window. Simply by drawing a rectangle around that area, we can be reminded and convicted of the great need among the unreached.

Tips for Vision Casting

Directed Towards Your Audience: Always consider your audience when you’re vision casting, especially at that moment in time. Sometimes your best vision casting vignettes will fall flat if it’s not what your audience needs to hear. One illustration is to be a sniper, not a shotgun; you want to cast vision with your target audience in mind, not just throw out whatever cool stories you have. After you share, it’s good to take note of what worked and what didn’t.

Share Out of Your Passion: Good vision casting will affect and pull at your emotions. It may bring you to tears, invoke anger at injustice, feel inspired to do something. You’ve been affected by vision before, and when you cast vision, allow that passion and emotion to come out! Speak with conviction, with anger, with excitement, with joy! Jenn cries often and just says, “Don’t be afraid – I’m a crier.” But those tears highlight the significance of what she’s saying and display the passion she carries.

Cast Vision Often: Take every opportunity to cast vision! Like we said earlier, the vision bucket needs to constantly be refilled. We might take opportunities to cast vision during team meetings, 1-on-1 meetings, ministry trainings, in front of large groups, with supporters, or in recruiting conversations. 

Short and Simple: Vision casts don’t have to be and probably shouldn’t be very long. You aren’t trying to do complicated problem-solving that uses a lot of mind-power, but instead wake up the heart to be motivated to push forward. Sometimes vision casts might be the length of a seminar or longer talk, but most times 5-10 minutes will be plenty!

Practice and Get Feedback: If you’re not a natural communicator, that’s OK! Listen to the Holy Spirit, prepare what you want to say, and practice! Even the best vision casters practice! Try out your vision casts in front of a friend and get feedback.

Make It Your Own: Even if you are “stealing” a vision cast from someone else, don’t feel like you need to copy their style. Again, you don’t have to be a “charismatic” speaker in order to vision cast. Do it your way! If you’ve been impacted by vision, let that conviction and passion come out in a way that feels comfortable to you.

Listen to the Holy Spirit!: We mentioned this above, but it cannot be overstated that listening to the Spirit is the best way to make sure your vision cast impacts those that you are communicating to. He knows what your team needs!

It can feel intimidating to put yourself out there and try to inspire, influence, and encourage others towards great and challenging things the Lord has called you towards. But if He has given us this vision to communicate, we can be confident that He will be the one to give us words and to change the hearts of those we lead. This frees you to boldly cast vision, trusting the Holy Spirit to be the one who convicts hearts through your words.

In this podcast, Jenn shares her personal experience with impostor syndrome as a new leader, offers tools to resist insecurity, comparison, and pride in leadership, and casts vision for more women to boldly respond to God’s leadership calling on their lives in order to complete the great commission!

Jenn also introduces Yield Leadership Coaching and gives details how to join a cohort designed to help women leaders grow in both their thriving and in their personal leadership. This podcast is available both on Spotify and Apple Podcast.

If you are a woman leader who desires to grow in your leadership with a likeminded community, consider joining a Women’s Leadership Development Cohort!

In this post, we’ll talk about reasons why ethnocentrism can be extremely damaging to your vision to multiply, and practical ways to address ethnocentrism.

Do I Have to be the Main Character?

As we mentioned in the first post, many past and even current missionaries can possess an ethnocentric or paternalistic view when they go to the field, perhaps without realizing it. Paternalism is the assumption that missionaries have superior knowledge, experience, and skills than local Christians and exert control over the local church and ministries. This can lead to a variety of issues that keep the ministry from bearing fruit that we’ll explore further in this post.

Part of this paternalistic/ethnocentric view that we as Western missionaries carry is the belief that we should be the “main character” in the ministry. Westerners have a higher cultural value of individualism, which emphasizes their own goals, rights, and decisions. It’s a deeply personal thing to feel called to the mission field, and most missionaries are very aware of the lack of access to the gospel in the fields where they serve. So naturally, we feel and envision that we are the ones responsible for bringing the gospel to these needy people and lands of darkness. We buy into the myth of the “Western savior” that is the hope and light for the unreached.

It’s an awesome privilege to be called to serve among the unreached. We know missionaries sacrifice much to respond to this calling out of many good motivations.

But Jesus is the Savior of the world, not us.

We get to be his ambassadors and get to join with him in the great work of seeing all peoples worship Jesus. God is moving and working in the countries where we are sent, likely through local or near-culture believers in that country or in the region.

We believe the most effective role for the majority of cross-cultural missionaries is to play a Barnabas role – empowering, coaching, and supporting local believers to multiply. In our view, this applies even beyond CPM ministry but to many other types of ministries, whether orphan care, theological education, or justice ministries. Western paternalism in missions has almost always led to negative consequences or at least non-lasting ministries, and we believe it grieves the Lord to see these same mistakes repeated over and over again.

Being the “main character” or having a Western savior perspective is one of the main barriers that keeps missionaries from having their most effective role as a Barnabas, therefore sabotaging their opportunity to be a part of what God is doing.

Baptism Through Binoculars

When we were first learning about movements, we kept hearing about this outsider role of being a Barnabas. It was a difficult mental shift to go from, “I’m going to be the one sharing, leading, and baptizing,” to “I am going to support local believers from the background.”

It’s not that movement practitioners don’t share and disciple – we absolutely do. We must be in the harvest, both out of obedience and to have the credibility to train others.

But we have to understand that our main effectiveness will be in serving and coaching local believers. As we investigated movements, we looked at about 50 case studies of how they started across the world. In nearly all of them, the outsider was partnering with a local or near-culture believer to catalyze multiplication. It was hard to argue with the pattern: if we wanted to see multiplication, this was the role we needed to play.

One story we heard from a movement practitioner really drove home the simultaneous sacrifice and joy of being a Barnabas. This practitioner served in a Muslim context with high persecution. If local Muslims that were interested in learning about Jesus were seen meeting with this white, American, Christian missionary, it would draw the attention of local Muslims and result in significant persecution.

So the outsider practitioner met with a few local, near-culture believers in a more neutral context and cast vision for multiplication, trained them in Biblical principles and practical tools, and encouraged them to go into these local Muslim villages where they would draw much less attention than he did, while coaching them from afar.

As these local believers began sharing and starting groups, he heard the reports and rejoiced but never got to meet the new believers face to face that he had indirectly invested in, prayed for, and loved deeply.

When it came time to baptize many of the new believers in the ocean, his local partner shared with him the time and place but told him, “Please don’t come to the baptism or it will attract unnecessary attention.” Instead, he got a boat about a mile down from the location of the baptism, and through binoculars, wept as he witnessed the celebration of new life among an unreached people group that he would not meet personally until heaven.

Are we willing to make this sacrifice? To take a background role in order that more people would hear and receive the gospel? 

To not be the main character?

How Ethnocentrism Will Sabotage Your Vision To Multiply

We believe that ethnocentrism can directly undermine your vision to multiply. We specifically chose the word “sabotage” because ethnocentrism is often a blind spot for workers, unlike more obvious challenges like team conflict or lack of funding.

These are some ways that ethnocentrism and paternalism can be a major barrier in your ministry:

Judgmental and Bitter Hearts: If our understanding of right and wrong, better and worse is based on our cultural perspective, many things in our host country will feel difficult. Over time, this can result in bitterness and a critical, judgmental spirit. We start to see all the ways that things can’t work in our country, that the people cannot be trusted. Those that don’t address ethnocentrism and bitterness in their hearts will often leave the field early, or start to withdraw into a cloistered missionary community where they do not interact with local people at all. For those that manage to grit it out, they will fail to thrive and eventually run out of motivation to serve.

Lack of Contextualization → Lack of Efficacy: If we believe that our cultural interpretations and expressions of obeying the Word and making disciples are the correct ones, we won’t look for contextualized expressions that might be more effective where we serve. This can apply to every aspect of ministry, from interpreting the Word, sharing the gospel, and ways that we worship. Using non-contextualized tools may attract people who are interested in our culture, but it will be difficult for them to apply tools from our context and multiply with them. We repeatedly see outsider trainers try to use a Western-created, non-contextualized training who are then bewildered when nothing works in a new context because they haven’t consulted a single local believer.

We met with the leaders of a globally well-known ministry in Thailand and asked them about their evangelism method. They told us that they shared using their organization’s tool (developed in the West) over 10,000 times in a year! But at the end of the year, it resulted in 10-15 consistent disciples joining their church. Just 0.1% of those they shared with stuck! We commended their amazing faithfulness and boldness but lamented the lack of willingness to try a more contextualized tool that might be more effective. 

Not Releasing Authority to Local Leaders: Many people understand using contextualized tools for greater effectiveness in ministry, but they still apply their ethnocentric values in evaluating local leaders. Without releasing authority to local leaders, the ministry can never fully indigenize and multiply further.

For example, in the West we might prioritize cultural values of leadership like being well-spoken, direct, and assertive. In Asia, leadership might be expressed by being more reserved, slow to speak, and having the final word. Neither of these cultural lenses are wrong, and they make sense within their own culture.

The problem is when outside missionaries, with a paternalistic approach that exerts control over local churches and ministries, fail to release authority and leadership to local leaders because of their own cultural biases. Emerging leaders may not look the same as leaders in the West, and we assume that we know best and that local leaders cannot yet be trusted. Out of a desire to make sure things are done “correctly,” we miss the opportunity to trust the Holy Spirit, empower local believers to take ownership, and encourage them to apply biblical principles in their own culture.

Overdependence on Outside Leaders and Money: Through a paternalistic perspective, we can assume that Western theology, curriculum, and resources are needed to help the struggling church among the unreached. We inadvertently create dependencies on outside leaders and resources that limit the local church and leaders from indigenizing and multiplying. 

When Helping Hurts is a well-known example of how a good desire of helping the poor by giving financial resources is actually damaging to the local people by creating over-dependency on Western resources. This type of “helping” happens across many types of ministries all over the world.

In consulting with experienced movement coaches, overreliance on outside money is a major barrier in catalyzing the multiplication of churches and disciples. Money brings different motivations and commitments, and we’ve heard of repeated instances of local partners who are driven by a salary and not a calling to make disciples. This can result in misreporting ministry results, an unwillingness to confront bad decisions from outsiders, and sometimes even direct deception in order to receive money.

There can be integrous and truly helpful ways to support disciple-making efforts among the unreached, but outsider practitioners should be very careful, thoughtful, and prayerful about anything involving outside money.

Ethnocentrism on Multicultural Teams: Increasingly, missions teams have team members from multiple different cultures and countries. They will bring in different values, communication styles, and preferences as individuals and from their cultural background.

If team leaders and team members aren’t aware of the cultural differences and have an ethnocentric view, this can lead to major conflicts that distracts you from your vision and can lead to teams fracturing. One resource for this specific situation of multi-cultural teams is Teamwork Cross-Culturally.

Barnabas Role without a Barnabas Heart: Lastly, simply playing the role of a Barnabas to train and coach local believers as an outsider does not necessarily mean that practitioners understand their own ethnocentrism. They may be trainers and coaches, but still inherently mistrust or condescend to local believers. We believe a Barnabas heart is critical to playing an effective Barnabas role. Local believers can easily tell when we are looking down on them or just see them as a means to an end. Lack of true relationship with your local partners leads to a lack of buy-in and ownership in the vision.

How to Address Ethnocentrism

Addressing ethnocentrism doesn’t require perfect understanding of varying cultures. Our job is not to decide what in the culture is right and wrong. But what is necessary is to posture ourselves in ways that directly offset ethnocentric thinking – namely as a learner with a humble heart of love.

Have a Heart of Humility and Love 

The primary way to combat ethnocentrism is modeled for us by Jesus himself! Jesus left the culture of heaven to live among and serve sinful humanity. Here is what Philippians 2 says about his heart posture: 

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,  not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature God,
    did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;

rather, he made himself nothing
    by taking the very nature of a servant,
    being made in human likeness.

And being found in appearance as a man,
    he humbled himself
    by becoming obedient to death—
    even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
    and gave him the name that is above every name…

Philippians 2:3-9

Many times, we experience feelings of offense, fear, or superiority when confronted with other cultures. These reactions are mitigated when we try to embody Christ’s heart of love and humility that considers others higher than ourselves. We are one in Christ and equal in the Kingdom with our brothers and sisters across the world. And the same Holy Spirit that works in us is also working in them! 

When we remember these things and seek to serve out of Christ’s love and humility, it becomes easier to both love the lost and to trust local believers. From there, a Barnabas partnership becomes a natural outflow of our ministry rather than feeling like a sacrifice.

Understanding our Ethnic Boundaries

Learning about our own ethnocentrism can be an overwhelming experience, as our ethnic identity is also closely tied to our personal identity, and it can be difficult to know the difference.

Alvin Sanders describes ethnic borders as “cultural traits that define our ethnic identity for ourselves and others.” He points out that people who come from the majority culture in their home country often haven’t had to think much about these borders because they naturally fit within them.

Most missionaries understand they’ll need to learn a new culture when they arrive in another country. But often that learning stays at the surface level – food, customs, language, and etiquette. What many missionaries haven’t yet wrestled with is how deeply their own cultural values and ethnic borders shape the way they see right and wrong. Without realizing it, they continue interpreting the world through their own cultural framework instead of learning to understand the perspective of their host culture.

There’s grace for us even if we are at the beginning of our journey of learning our own ethnic borders and those of our host country! Our encouragement is to take things one step at a time, with a heart of openness and humility.

One culture is not better or worse than another. Every people group is created ultimately in God’s image. And there are aspects of every culture that are marred by sin. We need the Word and the Holy Spirit to help us in this process of learning to live and serve across cultures.Alvin Sanders’ book, Bridging the Diversity Gap gives an outline of addressing your own heart to align with the Bible, learning about cultural dynamics, and then applying practical changes.

Discovering Cultural Values

One way to learn is from studying cultural values across different countries and cultures, including our own. There are several different frameworks for this, many of which had their origins in Hofstede’s cultural dimensions theory. A resource specific for missions leaders would be from Livermore’s Leading with Cultural Intelligence, where Chapter 5 lists out 10 different cultural value dimensions like individualism vs. collectivism, power distance, low and high context. Although it’s a broad estimation, this book also shows how different regions of the world align with different cultural values.

One of the most difficult cultural values to navigate for Westerners can be low and high context, or direct and indirect communication. We had encouraged our teammates in our first term to be willing to learn and be flexible in interacting with local believers, but hadn’t given them much training on direct and indirect communication. I asked one teammate how their weekend was, and they said, “Yeah it was good but crazy. I got invited to one thing after church, and I just kept saying yes, and 12 hours later I was in someone’s home in another province!” As he described what happened, I realized that my teammate did a great job in being flexible and willing to learn, but hadn’t recognized that many of the invitations were simply being polite and indirectly they were not actually inviting him to go! 

Learning about your own and the host culture’s values can be a good, basic introduction to the differences between what you are used to and what the norms are in your host country. It can also be illuminating that people around the world have very different perspectives than our own – a key step in unraveling our ethnocentrism!

Be a Learner

When our team first landed in Thailand, we spent time brainstorming questions that we wanted to ask local Thai people, Thai believers, and Thai pastors. We set goals to ask these questions regularly in our day-to-day conversations and we wrote down our learnings into weekly reports. Through these informal surveys, we were able to generally learn about Thai motivations, values, concerns, and stressors, and even things like types of humor! Almost every answer revealed to us a vastly different perspective from our Western cultural lens. (The more formal version of these would be ethnographic interviews, if you’d like to dive deeper.)

When asking questions, try to stay open-minded with zero assumptions about what someone might say. In the moment of conversation, do your best to downplay any immediate judgment or emotional responses that might stem from your own cultural biases; these responses may actually be indicators to press in and learn more. Strive to listen well and not just wait for your next turn to speak, and continually be curious. Instead of jumping to conclusions, build the habit of asking “why.” And write down what you learn!
Even with a basic understanding of ethnocentrism, we still struggled many times figuring out a different culture and not being judgmental! Many of our ethnocentric values are so deeply ingrained that sometimes we cannot help our reactions and judgments. Something we learned from our pre-field cross-cultural training was the phrase, “It’s not wrong, it’s just different.” That phrase has been invaluable, especially when it feels like we are at a cultural impasse that can never be crossed. God is the one who judges what’s right or wrong. But we can embrace that differences exist and seek to understand them.

We’d also encourage you to be a learner in many different ways. Try to take in content from authors, writers, creators from a different background. Read books, watch movies, take in art made by people from different cultures. Ask your friends if they can bring you to different cultural traditions and festivals like holiday celebrations, weddings, funerals, etc. Go to museums and learn about history, traditions, and art. 

One of the biggest cultural experiences is in food! We learned from an Asian pastor how critical it is to be willing to “eat what is set before you.” He told us, “Most cultures share food around the table. If you can’t enter the table because of unwillingness to try different and sometimes strange foods, you can’t enter into the culture. If you can’t enter into the culture, you can’t enter into relationships.” Try every food offered to you at least once!

Lastly, learn the language. Too many missionaries today are overly focused on quick results and bypass learning language to work through translators. Taking the time to learn the language forces you to humble yourself and greatly improves your understanding of the culture. Learn language!

Being a curious, respectful learner will take you 80% of the way there. It requires the humility to say, “My cultural experience is not the only way and is not always the right way.”

Every Tribe, Tongue, and Nation

Deconstructing our ethnocentrism and learning another culture’s values can feel like an insurmountable challenge. Our desire in these two blog posts is not to make missionaries feel guilty or helpless, but to bring to the surface a potentially crippling obstacle that many are not even aware of.

We can’t change overnight. But if we take small steps in humbling ourselves and trying to be a learner, those things will compound and help you pursue the vision that God has given you in a Christ-like, culturally intelligent way. Local friends will notice your willingness and heart to learn and will give you a lot of grace even when you do make cultural missteps.

I think about the practitioner that witnessed baptisms through binoculars often. It is a sacrifice to be sure. But imagine the joy, when we reach the throne of God with all the nations in Revelation 7, clothed in white robes, when we meet those that we have prayed for, that we have indirectly invested in, that we have wept for. To see the fruition of the small sacrifice we made to lay down our ethnocentrism, to not be the main character in order that many would receive new life. 

That joy will last for eternity.

After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands.

Revelation 7:9

“You can’t work with the Thai church.”

“They’re lazy, they don’t show up on time, and they lie to you by saying they’ll do something and then not do it.”

This was the repeated sentiment we heard from experienced missionaries during our early years in Thailand. We had learned that most CPMs are started by in/near culture believers, so we wanted to find Thai believers with a vision for multiplying disciples.

We sought out long-time workers in Thailand to learn how to approach this. But over and over, we heard: don’t even try. It won’t work. It’s too hard. Just do it yourself.

At the same time, we began visiting local Thai churches that seemed to carry a vision for disciple-making and church planting. We met vibrant, growing, Thai-led churches with goals like planting 100 churches or starting groups in every province in their region. And to our surprise, they warmly welcomed us to learn from them and partner together.

Over the last 12 years on the field, we’ve continued to hear that working with the local church is too difficult for cross-cultural missionaries — not just in Thailand, but in many places around the world. Yet by God’s grace, our experience has been marked by deep partnership and friendship with our Thai brothers and sisters. We also know many CPM practitioners who feel the same way, some even brought to tears when speaking about their local partners and friends.

So why is there such a massive gap between these experiences? Why do some cross-cultural workers grow skeptical or even bitter toward local believers, while others develop rich, life-giving relationships?

We believe one big reason lies with ethnocentrism. It’s one of the most sinister and destructive barriers for cross-cultural workers that sabotages their desire to have an impact among the fields they’re called to.

It affects not only their relationship with local believers, but their relationship with the local culture, their thriving on the field, and ultimately their long-term perseverance in their calling. 

In this post, we’ll look at what ethnocentrism is, how the Bible addresses it, and ways we can reflect on our own ethnocentrism. In our next post, we’ll discuss how ethnocentrism affects your vision and practical ways you can combat it.

What is Ethnocentrism?

Ethnocentrism is defined as “the tendency to evaluate other cultures based on the standards and values of one’s own culture, often leading to perceptions of superiority.”

When a goer moves overseas, it’s an extremely jarring experience. The language, climate, foods, traditions, expectations, and social dynamics can be completely different from the place you grew up. For many goers, there can be an initial honeymoon phase where they’re excited to learn and experience many new things. But after a few months, the ongoing feelings of confusion, of homesickness, of not fitting in can start to impact you. You get tired of being stared at on the street, being laughed at when you try to speak the local language, and you just want a dang burger instead of this funky tasting mystery meat.

Thoughts of judgment and criticism start creeping in:

“Why can’t they just do it the way we do it at home? It’s so much better that way.” 

“Why are people here so dishonest? Why can’t they just tell it to me straight?”

“Why is this thing so weird? Why can’t it just be normal?”

All missionaries have had thoughts like these, including myself and those on our team. Naturally, in an attempt to assuage the confusion we experience, we begin to measure things in our host culture against our home culture. The criticisms that we heard from experienced missionaries in Thailand assumed that certain cultural values in the West, like being hard-working, punctual, and communicating directly, are the cultural standards in Thailand. They aren’t! But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

Without an understanding of ethnocentrism, cross-cultural workers can become frustrated, bitter, and judgmental against the very culture and people they came to serve. And unfortunately, it’s not just an early season culture shock thing for many people. We’ve met several decade-plus missionaries who still say things like, “I honestly hate everything about this country but I guess we’re supposed to be here.”

Dr. Craig Ott in Teaching and Learning Across Cultures writes that “ethnocentrism not only can blind one to the beauty of other cultures but can also lead to condescending attitudes that block meaningful relationships with others and the ability to learn from them. In the worst case, it can foster racism and prejudice.”

The Lawnmower

In a pre-field cultural training that Jenn and I attended, the facilitator explained that the different places we were going to would have different cultural values and to be wary of ethnocentrism. To illustrate this, he told a story of his time in Indonesia where a neighbor asked to borrow a lawnmower. But after the neighbor used it, he kept the lawnmower in his own garage. After a couple of weeks, the facilitator, somewhat annoyed, finally asked the neighbor for his lawnmower back.

The neighbor said, “Of course!” When the facilitator asked the neighbor why he had not returned his lawnmower several weeks after using it, the neighbor explained, “In our culture, since we are part of the same neighborhood, it means we are part of the same community. What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine! I was just keeping the lawnmower in my garage until you needed it back, but you could have asked for it anytime!”

The facilitator posed a question to the group of future missionaries: did my neighbor steal my lawnmower? Jenn and I looked at each other and both thought – “of course not, the neighbor was just explaining communal culture. The facilitator even just explicitly said so.”

But the entire class answered in an uproar: “Yes! He stole it! He should’ve given it back immediately because it’s your personal property!” Some even aggressively contended that the facilitator should have called the police on the neighbor for theft.

We were shocked. Not only that the explicitly explained difference in cultural values went over everyone’s head, but also at the anger and disbelief that was in the response.

As we’ve reflected on this interaction, we’ve realized that the angry energy in the class’ response was because they had made a cultural misunderstanding into a moral issue. It was morally wrong that the neighbor did not return the lawnmower because of Americans’ high value of individuality and personal ownership. But the neighbor did not see it that way at all because of his own more collectivist cultural lens.

The lawnmower is a somewhat trivial example, but still such a small issue resulted in such a strong response from the group. We have seen missionaries, including ourselves, make this ethnocentric mistake in much higher stakes situations. We do this in how we train and model expressions of church, how we discuss theology, how we choose leaders, how we evaluate moral and discipleship issues. We measure local believers against our cultural interpretation of Scripture, instead of looking at how Scripture speaks into the local context.

Ethnocentrism and Paternalism in Missions History

There are countless examples of ethnocentrism, paternalism, and even cultural imperialism throughout missions history. Entire books, courses, and degree programs have been devoted to these topics, so we won’t try to cover them in depth here.

But we do want to briefly acknowledge how the painful parts of missions history can compound the problems that come with ethnocentrism today. We’re also troubled by how many workers are unaware of the historical dynamics in the places they serve, and how often the same mistakes continue to be repeated.

Paternalism “occurs when missionaries and their sending churches and agencies consciously or unconsciously assume that they possess superior knowledge, experience, and skills and, consequently, exert control over local Christians and their leaders. This control is almost always exerted through financial arrangements and the implicit authority of money.”

Missions history is littered with examples of paternalism, racism, and cultural imperialism (the imposition by a dominant community of its own culture onto another community) that led to destructive consequences for the name of Jesus around the world. In the most extreme cases, some missionaries had a view that they were not only bringing the gospel, but Western civilization to the “savage” or “heathens” in other parts of the world. They viewed non-Western cultures and peoples as inferior, and thought that planting churches meant dismantling the local culture. Is it any wonder that in many unreached places in the world, Christianity has a negative reputation and is seen as a Western, foreign religion?

Missionaries today need to be aware of what previous generations of workers have done, both good and bad, and in some cases, explicitly acknowledge the negative impact that has come with paternalism and imperialism. It’s especially important for those of us from the West to guard against a “Western savior complex” – the assumption that we are coming to rescue people who are helpless without us. Jesus is the Savior, not us. We should be aware of where he is working and join in that, which often is through the existing local church!

How the Bible Addresses Ethnocentrism

One of my favorite Bible studies is comparing and contrasting Jesus’ interactions with Gentiles and with Jewish religious leaders. I might post a blog on this topic in the future but I’d encourage you to study this if you haven’t!

The story of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10:25-37 is the clearest example of how Jesus addresses ethnocentrism. When challenged by a lawyer about how to inherit eternal life, Jesus answers with the Great Commandment: love God and love your neighbor. And the lawyer, perhaps looking for a loophole to focus his “love” on those he prefers, replies, “who is my neighbor?”

And Jesus tells of a man beaten and left for dead, passed on by supposedly holy leaders, a priest and a Levite. But a Samaritan – avoided, judged, hated by the Jews – showed compassion to the man, cared for him, sacrificed his own resources, and showed mercy. The ultimate example of obedience to the Great Commandment was a person not just from a different culture, but a culture that the Jews hated.

Jesus’ example is love, humility, and compassion towards those from different cultures. He left heaven’s culture to walk on the earth as a Jewish man and make a way for all cultures to receive grace through the Cross. He condemns and rejects ethnocentrism by declaring God’s heart for all nations and explicitly showing his love towards non-Jewish people. The gospels are full of examples of this: the salvation for the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4), the grace for the Syrophoenician woman (Mark 7), the faith of the Roman centurion to name just a few.

Paul also embodies an anti-ethnocentric posture: “I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some. I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings” (1 Cor. 9:22-23). He is willing to lay down his own values, preferences, and even rights to be a minister to the Gentiles.

Scripture culminates in Revelation 7, perhaps the most anti-ethnocentric passage in the Bible, where the multitude from every nation, tribe, people, and language is worshipping around the throne of God. There is no higher or lower culture, no better or worse cultural values – there are only the people rescued by Jesus clothed in white robes. And yet, the peoples still preserve their cultural identity – representatives from every culture are in the new heaven and the new earth but redeemed perfectly.

Reflection: Have I Been Ethnocentric?

If we are honest with ourselves for a moment, whether from our upbringing, personal experiences, or plain ignorance, there are people from other cultures that we instinctively judge, feel superior to, dislike, or even hate. We know missionaries that will travel half the world away to serve another culture but speak disparagingly and condescendingly about people of another skin color in a different part of their own hometown.

I was brought up to ignorantly fear black people and hate Japanese people for what they did historically in China, and believe that ethnic Chinese people were somehow superior to all others. I’ve had bitterness in my heart from racist experiences with white people. It took years of seeing God’s heart in Scripture and repenting, befriending people from different cultures, learning different perspectives, and even living in another country to unlearn these prejudices from my upbringing and my sinful heart.

Reflecting on our own ethnocentrism can be challenging because our cultural values are deeply tied to our cultural identity and therefore our personal identity. It also requires us to be honest with our own motivations in serving overseas. It can be overwhelming to discover and admit pride, sin, or a sense of superiority towards other cultures, perhaps even the people God has called us to serve.

Our encouragement is this – honest reflection about our ethnocentrism is necessary and it is worth doing. At best, we have some blind spots that can be removed to help us be more loving and effective in our calling. At worst, there are some deeply rooted and sinful perspectives that we didn’t even know we had and they are directly sabotaging what we are trying to accomplish in serving across cultures.

The good news of the gospel is that Jesus knows our hearts and loves us, even if we aren’t aware of these sins or haven’t reconciled them yet.

As you reflect on the questions below, try to come before God with openness, honesty, and humility. Come in a posture of surrender and repentance. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal hidden assumptions, pride, fear, or bitterness in your heart. Allow God to heal and change your heart! From that, we believe you will not only become a greater servant to the people you’re called to, but become more like Christ in his love for all peoples.

Reflection Questions

• What kinds of people or behaviors are you quickest to judge? What standards are you using to judge them?
• Are there ways you subtly view local believers as less capable, less mature, or less trustworthy than believers from your own culture? How do you react when local believers do something differently than you would?
• Have past wounds, stereotypes, or experiences shaped the way you see certain cultures or ethnicities?
• In what ways might pride, superiority, control, or a “savior mentality” be affecting your ministry?
• Where are you failing to have the Philippians 2 posture of considering others more significant than yourself?

In this episode, Jenn and Cynthia discuss how perseverance in both times of crisis and in day-to-day obedience is essential to seeing movements. They share personal testimonies of surrender in times of suffering, and discuss practical ways for how to keep going when the work feels like an uphill battle.

There are so many transitions, unknowns, and moving parts when new teams launch to the field. A Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) is a document that most missions teams have to provide clarity in the midst of those unknowns. We would define an MOU as a non-binding agreement created between two or more parties explaining how they will work together and interact with each other.

As common as MOUs are on missions teams, there’s surprisingly few examples or short articles out there to help with how to write one. But, “can you help me with how to write our team MOU?” is one of the most common questions we get from team leaders. Vision of the Possible by Daniel Sinclair is a really good book about missions teams in pioneer church planting, and has a short appendix on MOUs/VSPs that we’d recommend.

One of the agreements in our MOU was no dating in the first year. The two single guys on our initial team took that to heart… and both asked out another teammate on a date at 1 year plus 1 day. I guess they technically followed the agreement. I’m happy to report they both ended up marrying those teammates.

Why are MOUs important?

I quickly wanted to address why this document even matters and why it’s worth the time for team leaders to work through this.

1. Clear Expectations. As I mentioned above, clarity is kindness. New teammates especially are being introduced to a new country, culture, community, career all at the same time. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to interact? What is success every day? These are questions that every new goer faces in their early season on the field. As much as is possible, an MOU can lay down some basic foundations of clarity and expectations for your team. 
   
   For a new TL, it can feel overwhelming and difficult to write down all of these expectations. Write down what you know, and put down a ‘TBD’ in the categories that you’re not sure about yet! But provide as much clarity as you can in this document for your teammates, and then you won’t have to answer it in person that many more times.
   
2. Sets Team Culture and Values. An MOU is also one way you can write down and reinforce your team culture and values. What you talk about and what you do on your team will influence your team culture and values more than a document, but it still acts as a cornerstone for your team.
   
   How often will your team interact? What values do you want to have as a team? What’s your expectation on learning language? Many of these things can be expressed in an MOU.
   
3. Guidelines for Challenging Situations. Team conflict is a guarantee on missions teams, and some of it will certainly come out in the early season of a team forming. A team MOU is a good tool for outlining solutions to potentially challenging situations.
   
   In our experience, topics that result in conflict tend to be things in the ‘personal’ realm – vacations, parenting, travel, money, decision-making that infringes on what people think to be their own personal boundaries, etc. Teammates will mostly be willing to discuss things like team rhythms and ministry approaches with openness, but those ‘personal’ topics will get teams and team leaders in hot water. It’s important to write down some basic expectations and guidelines for how those things will be approached before you get into conflict.
   
4. Brief Summary for Outsiders. An MOU can be a good document to share with people in your team’s ecosystem that aren’t teammates. Church support teams, sending agencies, potential new recruits, etc. It will give them an idea of who you are, what you’re there to do, and how you want to interact.

How to Write an MOU

Some tips: don’t worry about perfecting the language. It’s not a legal document. This was a huge roadblock for me in trying to ‘wordsmith’ the MOU into being really professional or airtight. That’s not the purpose – write in common language that your team can understand easily and discuss.

Think of your first draft as just that – a draft. It’s not something the TL writes and then the team just agrees and signs. You want the first draft to be something your team can discuss and then incorporate their feedback into the MOU. It’s an agreement you enter into with each other, not a contract between you and your team members.

Here’s our step-by-step guide for how to write an MOU for your team.

1. Consider the requirements from your sending agency or church. If they already have staff handbooks, you don’t (and shouldn’t) need to rewrite everything that is already in there as all your staff have to adhere to that handbook anyway. If there’s additional aspects that aren’t outlined in the staff handbook, then go ahead and include that in your team MOU.

2. Consider what categories you want included in your MOU. This isn’t exhaustive, but below we’ve outlined some potential MOU categories into “core” which we’d recommend most MOUs have, and “optional” which could be added on a team-by-team basis.

Core Categories

• Purpose of this Document
• Vision and Mission Statements
• Strategy Summary / Ministry Distinctives – short summary that should refer to a Vision and Strategy Paper (VSP) or Strategy Plan
• Team and Leadership Structure – potentially including decisions that the leader reserves the right to have the final say
• Process and Requirements to Join the Team – if your staff handbook already has this, only add the parts that are unique to your team
• Preparation and Language Learning – pre-field requirements, commitment to language learning, hours and timeframe, approach
• Decision Making Process – general description of how decisions are made, potentially can cover decisions that will be by vote, consensus, consultation, and command
• Conflict Resolution
• Vacations, Home Assignments (HMA), and Travel
• Communication and Reporting
• Crises and Emergencies – basic overview that should refer to a Crisis and Contingency Plan document
• Restrictions and Recommendations – including security considerations
• How Future Changes to this MOU Can Be Made

Optional Categories

• Core Team Values
• Philosophy of Ministry
• Accountability Groups
• Expectations of the First 2 Years
• Job Descriptions and Team Roles
• Partnerships with Local Churches and Believers
• Contextualization
• Statement of Faith / Theological Distinctives
• Family / Children / Parenting – becomes very important if there are children on the team, but not necessarily beforehand
• Team Life and Lifestyle – general guidelines about team life and lifestyle
• Dating and Relationships
• Team Funds – running a team will include expenses; it’s easier to pull a regular amount from each unit and be support raised before launching to the field than to figure out finances for every gathering
• Visas / Identity

3. Read other example MOUs. Contact the other TLs that you know, or ask your sending agency for examples if they can provide them. Add categories that you might be missing.

4. Write down quick points of what you know in each category. Feel free to just copy and paste whole sections from other MOUs if it says what you want. If you’re not sure, write down ‘TBD’ or the questions you need answered in that section.

5. Let your draft sit for a while and have some informal conversations with your team or other advisors on the topics you have not yet filled in or need questions answered.

6. Take your last pass through filling out the MOU with coherent language and incorporating the feedback you’ve heard.

7. Bring your MOU draft to your teammates during a team meeting and read through it, asking for their feedback. Again it may be good to explain the purpose of the MOU is for mutual agreement, not to be ironclad against all situations or to be wielded against one another as a ‘gotcha.’

8. Incorporate your teammates’ feedback as best you can. Bring it back to them for final review. Have everyone sign and date their agreement with the MOU. Our recommendation is for new teams to set a 1-year evaluation period for the MOU because there are so many things you don’t know yet and may need to change. You could possibly edit the MOU earlier than that if needed. With future teammates, it will most likely be that they are joining an established team and simply need to read it, ask any clarifying questions, and sign it. But with your initial team (if you have one), it’s good to solicit feedback in the MOU’s creation.

9. Update the MOU as needed. Our recommendation is when there are significant team transitions – from language to ministry season, when teammates start having children, moving cities, changing platforms, changing ministry approaches – it’s a good idea to take a brief look at the MOU and see if everything still aligns or if anything needs to be added. 

Attached is an example of our original team’s MOU with some of the specifics removed, just so you can have a place to start. We have other team MOU’s that we can share as well. If you want some other example MOUs, want some guidance on how to write your MOU, or just someone to review your current MOU, please reach out at contact@missionsleaders.com. We’d be happy to help you!

Remember, as a team leader, your role is to serve your team members and help them to thrive and stay on task. Bringing clarity to some major categories through an MOU is one way you can serve them. The goal isn’t to be directive or controlling – a pushback you may receive – but to provide guardrails for your team members so they can move forward through all the unknowns.

In our last few posts, we’ve talked about why men and women leading together on the field is important, best practices to do that, and specifics for husband and wife leadership teams. In this post, we’ll bring some guidelines for men leading women in missions settings.

We think the ideal situation is when there can be a man and a woman co-leading together, taking advantage of all the diversity of gifts and perspectives to lead a healthy and effective team. From what we have observed, the ideal is rarely available on the mission field and it may be the case that the only qualified leader currently available is a man who is leading other women. 

In my experience talking to men in this situation, these leaders deeply value their female teammates and strongly desire to see the women under their leadership thrive and flourish. But oftentimes, these leaders also don’t know what they don’t know, and unfortunately their intuitive leadership style may not end up being the most conducive or helpful when leading women.

In this scenario, we’ve laid out a few tips that we’d encourage male leaders to consider in order to best lead, empower, and appropriately care for the women on your team.

Aim to Develop

Generally speaking, men will feel most comfortable working with people who are most like them – namely other men. They may be aware that leading women is different from leading men but aren’t sure how to approach things differently. Consequently, women can get overlooked when it comes to intentional development and opportunities for growth. In all likelihood, the women on your team have already had a deficit of development opportunities to this point. We believe a missions team is strongest when all members of the team are empowered, developed, and thriving in their best role. Here are some suggestions for how to best develop your female teammates.

Solicit and Give Feedback – Make an effort to regularly and proactively solicit the opinions and feedback of your female teammates about what they are processing about themselves, about your leadership, about the team, and about the ministry work. Women are encouraged to not make waves and will not always volunteer their perspectives, especially if their opinion contradicts that of the group. Because women are generally more collaborative and risk-averse by nature, women may sometimes need more time and space to process information. While this might feel like you are being forced to slow down, creating this venue for women to share creates safety and brings in perspectives that will most likely reap dividends down the line. Practically, it could be as simple as asking a female teammate during a meeting, “What do you think?” Or, if a female teammate hasn’t spoken much during a meeting, pulling them aside after the meeting is over and asking for their feedback.

Conversely, and just as important, give gentle but direct feedback to the women you lead. I have observed that in ministry spaces, women, and especially mothers, can sometimes “get the pass” because of not wanting to hurt feelings or not wanting to pile on pressure. But when feedback is withheld, a woman’s ability to learn and develop is undercut, and the whole team suffers. If you have feedback you would give to a man, then the women on your team deserve the same benefit.

Keep in mind that when you give feedback, women might respond differently than men! You should aim to create a safe space for women to freely and safely express their emotions. Ask about their feelings concerning a situation. Sometimes, there may be a response like tears or frustration – don’t be afraid to engage with emotional responses. (Steven says to keep the tissues nearby!) In some situations, high emotions are an appropriate response and sometimes they are not. Let the emotion be a jumping off point for further questions and dialogue into understanding their experience before continuing to discuss the topic at hand.

For women that you lead, it can be comforting to see that not only do you respect and seek out their inputs, but you also respect them enough as peers and teammates that you would say the hard thing for their development. It becomes that much easier to trust and follow your leadership. 

Find a Woman Mentor or Coach – While I had a male supervisor in our organization, I credit much of my growth and development to the female mentors he encouraged me to find. I respected my male colleagues, but would always be curious about, “how would a woman approach this topic?” 

These topics could include personal development issues, family and marriage counseling, or ministry coaching. You, as a male leader, are not going to have all the answers and will definitely not carry a woman’s perspective. But you can network and find women with experience and credibility to connect with the women on your team. These mentors could come from your organization’s member care staff, your wife, a more experienced worker, or another female leader in a different context. And it doesn’t only have to be one woman mentor that can address everything – find the appropriate coach for the areas that your women teammates need input. Help the women you lead build an ecosystem of support that includes you as the leader, and also female mentors and coaches who can speak into their specific needs. 

Create an Empowering Culture

It’s important to very intentionally create a culture that is empowering to women. This may take some outside-the-box thinking as most systems and structures, whether from business or ministry contexts, will generally be more accommodating for men. For more information on this topic, you can reference our blog post on external barriers that women in leadership face.

Clearly Define What You Believe – As theologians and denominations continue to wrestle with defining women’s roles and parameters for women’s leadership, ministry can be a very confusing place for women. Most women in ministry will understand that there is a “line” that they shouldn’t cross, but that line can feel very nebulous and arbitrary. Without this level of clarity, women who want to respect you as a leader will tend to draw far back from where they assume the “line” is. 

If you are a man leading women, it’s important that your theological position and work expectations are clearly communicated to both the men and women on your team. Can a woman hold a leadership role? What about teaching or preaching? Can women work with male team members? Can women lead men? What kind of communication and accountability expectations do you have for women on the team? 

In addition, be clear about any personal boundaries that you have when working with women. When should husbands be looped in and for what kinds of topics? Are there topics that you will not discuss with women that you lead? Can you text, call, or email one on one with a woman or do you prefer to communicate in a group? What are spaces that you feel comfortable meeting a woman in? 

Create space for dialogue, where women you lead can ask questions, push back, and offer feedback. After there is buy-in on both sides, help the women on your team find their ideal roles within the theological stance of the team. If it is helpful, write these things down, possibly in an MOU, as a reference point for the whole team.

Even if the conversation feels awkward, remember that this clarity is kindness. This prevents the women on your team from wasting time guessing about the validity of their actions and allows them to joyfully pursue their work within agreed upon parameters. When men on the team are clear about what is expected, they are better able to champion their female co-laborers and advocate for them.

Check Your Own Biases – We all have biases, whether we realize it or not. The goal is not to necessarily get rid of all your biases, but to recognize them and realize where they may be disempowering. Oftentimes, when Steven and I are both part of a meeting, it is assumed that I am there to take notes. Until I am introduced as a peer, I rarely receive eye contact from the men in the room or might be ushered toward the tables where the wives sit. 

Are there certain roles that you naturally assume a woman would occupy? Notetakers, secretaries, event planners, administrative assistants, children ministry leaders, and mothers who stay home are all roles that “make sense” for women to occupy. And while these roles are incredibly important, not every woman you lead will want to be lumped into these categories.

Take the time to talk with the women that you lead about their passions, giftings, and opportunities for development and growth. Cast vision and help them brainstorm roles that align with their giftings to contribute to the team and ministry, and discuss how you can help them get there. 

Create Environments Welcoming for Women – Culture is often set in those in-between spaces between official meetings and team functions. Much is revealed in how welcome women are in these informal gatherings and hangouts where people are less buttoned up. In my old organization, there was a tradition for leaders to sit around a campfire late-night with a glass of bourbon to relate to one another, process decisions made in the organization, and enjoy fellowship. While women were “welcome”, they weren’t ever explicitly invited. For many single gals, drinking late at night didn’t feel like a safe environment to let loose, while mothers with little kids had to opt out due to the late hour. An alternative we suggested was meeting in someone’s living room with both wine and bourbon options. As you consider your team culture, are relational spaces accessible to everyone? Do women feel invited to partake in the unofficial activities related to your team? Is there anyone who needs to be extended a specific invitation?

Navigating Unique Gender Dynamics

There are certain relational dynamics that must be considered in cross-gender leadership. Creating clarity and buy-in around these things first will prevent a world of confusion.

What to Do with Wives – For men leading married women, there are additional factors to consider and extra communication may be required. One of the first questions to discern is whether the wife of a couple that you lead feels both (1) called to be a part of the ministry work and (2) is willing to follow your leadership and direction for the mission. Do not make assumptions about a wife’s commitment based on simply what her husband is doing or saying. If she does want to be a part of the work, then have conversations with her and her husband about ways you can communicate, set directives, and develop her for her ministry role that are in line with the way their family operates. If you have hesitation about directly leading a married woman, try to loop in her husband into any communication that you might have with her.

On a similar note, if the husband of a couple you lead is also a leader, do not automatically assume that the wife needs to be a leader too. As we mentioned in our blog post on couples leading together, we would recommend that husbands and wives who lead together both need to have a leadership calling from God. It can be dangerous to elevate a wife into leadership when she has not received that level of calling as it places undue pressure on both her and potentially the marriage.

What to Do with Single Women – Single women are a powerful asset to any team, but often have the least influence or voice within a team or organization. Single women also may be boxed into certain roles like babysitting the teams’ kids or notetaking. Without husbands to help advocate for them, single women may withhold their voices instead of trying to speak directly with a male leader. Make sure that you are actively soliciting the opinions of single women and checking in on their needs, concerns, insight, and feedback. Single women may have higher relational needs, and it is important that you are able to resource them with mentors, coaches, and opportunities to meet local female friends.

Just a Little Intentionality…

The first time I publicly spoke in front of a crowd, I was terrified. Steven and I had been invited by our leader to share some of the lessons we had learned from our first term on the field to the rest of our organization’s staff. At that time, I was still wrestling with whether or not the Bible allowed for a woman to even speak publicly, so it was a big honor! 

After I rambled through my part and sat down, a high level male leader in our organization sought me out. He told me, “you were a little shaky in the beginning. But much better when you got up to speed. You’re probably not as strong as a teacher, but you are gifted in exhortation and you need to speak more.” Then, turning to Steven, he told him, “you need to make sure that she gets space to speak.” Even almost ten years later, his direct feedback continues to remind me that I am seen, gifted, and have a contribution. For some reason, I assumed women would encourage me, but to be noticed by a high level male leader whose inner circle I normally wouldn’t be a part of meant something more. By God’s grace, I have continued using my voice to coach individuals, speak to larger groups, and even help co-host a podcast. But I wonder if I would have had the courage to say yes to the next opportunity if this leader hadn’t gone out of his way to give me his feedback and encouragement.

For you men who are leading women and desire to honor them in the highest way, my encouragement to you is that you don’t have to be perfect. But know that just a little bit of intentionality and empowerment from you can go a long way!

Reflection Questions

1. Aim to Develop:
   • Are there areas where you have not yet developed the women on your team?
   • Do you find yourself withholding feedback from the women on your team? If yes, why?
   • Do the women that you lead have access to women mentors and coaches who can help them grow? If no, where can you find these women?
2. Create An Empowering Culture:
   • Do you have personal clarity on your theological stance concerning women in ministry and your personal boundaries in regards to working with women? Have these been clearly communicated?
   • Do you have implicit biases around women’s roles in ministry that might be impacting how you interact with the women that you lead?
   • On a scale from 1-10 (1 being unsafe, 10 being very safe), how welcome do the women on your team feel during both team functions and informal gatherings? How can you increase this number?
3. Navigating Gender Dynamics
   • Are lines of communication and expectations clear with the wives that you lead?
   • Are you regularly checking in on single women that you lead?

This month, Jenn and Cynthia started a new series about Couples Leading Together on the Dare to Multiply podcast.

The series kicks off with Jenn and Steven sharing their story and why it’s important for couples to make disciples and lead together. Stay tuned for the rest of the series, where we will explore how couples can address obstacles to working together, and also give some practical how-tos and tips.

Finally, if you want to learn more, check out our blog posts on men and women leading together:

Men and Women Leading Together

Men and Women Leading Together (Part 2)

Husbands and Wives Leading Together

Jenn and I (Steven) leading together got off to a rough start.

One of the first things we did as a couple in ministry, before we were even married, was attend a support raising bootcamp with our Thailand team members. At the time, our team was both of us, four of my best friends growing up, and one single gal from Alabama who went through the same pre-field goer training as us and had a heart to serve in Thailand.

We had all just quit our jobs and were ready to start support raising – our launch to Thailand was about one year out. I borrowed my parent’s minivan and drove our team up from Austin, Texas to Dallas where the boot camp was being held. We were picking up our new teammate Kate* (name changed for security purposes) from the airport before heading to the support raising training. As we were entering the airport, I said, “Hey guys, this is our first time meeting Kate in person. Let’s try to keep the inside jokes to a minimum and make her feel as welcome as possible.” Everyone nodded their heads in agreement.

Before we had even left the airport, two of my friends had started to record a homemade rap video while wearing Jenn’s leopard-print jacket for no particular reason. Leader instruction #1 – failed.

Later that day, as we were getting settled in a friend’s house, Jenn and I started to argue about something. Kate and Jenn were sharing a room since Jenn and I weren’t married yet, and as our argument escalated, I could feel Kate continually shrinking into the corner, trying her best not to be noticed.

As the conflict was rising to a climax, an intrusive thought popped into my head that I knew would really send Jenn over the edge. Unfortunately, but hilariously, it made its way through my brain filter and out of my mouth.

“Just remember who your boss is,” I quipped at Jenn. I closed the door behind me smiling to myself and knowing that I would pay for that comment later.

I learned later that I narrowly avoided the pair of pants that were hurtling towards my head.

“Men! Can you believe him?!” Jenn said to Kate, who was now almost merged with the wall.

Welcome to the team, Kate.

And welcome to co-leadership, Jenn and Steven.

When we tell you that it’s a miracle that God has brought us this far in our marriage and co-leadership, it’s stories like this that affirm that reality! And Kate ended up marrying one of my friends on the team and they are still serving on the field today.

In our previous posts, we covered why it’s important that men and women lead together on missions teams, and some of thepractical guidelines for how they can do that effectively. We kept those more general towards men and women because we believe men and women leadership teams don’t have to be exclusively between husbands and wives. However, many of those co-leadership teams will end up being married couples. If that’s your situation, then this post is for you!

The story above is meant to illustrate how confusing, convoluted, and contentious co-leadership on missions teams can be for husbands and wives and also for their teams, organizations, and ministry partners. But if it can be done well, it can be a rich reflection of Christ and the church, as a husband and wife walk together in leadership and ministry.

Why It Makes Sense for Husbands and Wives to Serve and Lead Together

In our experience, a calling overseas is different from most ministry callings in your home context. When Jenn and I lived in the U.S., we had separate ministries. We invested in different people, rarely overlapped, and were supportive of one another without being directly involved in each other’s work.

Overseas, we’ve found that both husband and wife need to share the same level of calling and commitment to the vision, regardless of their specific role or ministry activity. It’s much harder for one spouse to say, “This is my spouse’s calling, and I’ll just support them,” because simply living cross-culturally requires significant sacrifice. Even when one spouse is primarily focused on the home or family, their commitment to the vision needs to be just as strong in order to persevere through the challenges of life on the field.

Ministry overseas – especially movement-focused ministry – can also be all-encompassing. It’s not a typical 9–5 job that you can leave behind when you go home. If you’re focused on multiplying disciples, you may have people in your home regularly or a demanding travel schedule to visit key partners. Because the boundaries between work and home are less clear, husbands and wives need to have clarity and be aligned around both life and ministry.

When we’ve seen unequal commitment between spouses, it often leads to disunity, competition between family and ministry, and potentially resentment that results in leaving the field.

When both spouses share the same calling and level of commitment, working together toward the vision can make a lot of sense. It requires a lot of communication and figuring things out, some of which we laid out in our previous post about men and women and some other things for husbands and wives in this post.

Our recommendation for married couples overseas is that both spouses should have the same level of calling and commitment to the vision, regardless of role. If that shared vision is present, then we’d encourage husbands and wives to discuss what it looks like to work together if both desire to have a role in ministry.

The last category is for husbands and wives that are interested in leading together. We’d give a strong exhortation that couples should only lead together in a ministry setting or missions team if both spouses are genuinely called and gifted for leadership. We define a leader as “a man or woman who receives vision from God to influence the people of God towards the purposes of God.”

Elevating a spouse into co-leadership without a leadership calling and gifting can undermine the other spouse’s credibility and place unnecessary pressure on the one who isn’t called to lead. A non-leader spouse can still play a powerful role as a supporter and sounding board. But when both spouses are truly called to leadership and find healthy ways to lead together, it can be a beautiful and effective partnership.

Best Practices for Husbands and Wives Leading Together

We’d highly recommend that married couples that want to lead together overseas work through the 5 categories in our last post – commitment, communication, conflict, clearing the path, and collaborative giftings. These are critical components for any men/women co-leaders but especially for husbands and wives. Below we have a few additional best practices specific to married couples.

We don’t yet have children and won’t try to speak on that dynamic, though we understand it adds complexity and challenge for husbands and wives that desire to lead together. However, we have seen married couples on the field learn to lead together in the ministry and the home simultaneously. Jenn recently recorded a podcast with Jesse and Shanee Snodgrass who host the Coworkers Podcast on this topic and we’ll link it here when it’s live!

Working Styles

Married couples leading together should learn to understand each other’s working styles. When we first started working and leading together, Jenn frequently thought that I (Steven) was frustrated with her or thought that I was unhappy with her work. One day she asked me, “Am I doing something wrong?”

“No – why would you think that?” I asked.

“Because whenever we’re talking about ministry or team things, you seem to be a lot more stern or short with me.”

We realized that Jenn had not really encountered “working mode” Steven before. I had to apologize and explain that when I’m working, I can be more intense and move faster out of a desire to focus and get things done. She had been used to me more in dating / companionship mode where I was a lot more attentive in listening, gentler, and more laid-back. I had to be more cognizant of being gentler with my words and overall attitude, and Jenn had to learn not to take my intensity personally.

There were several other aspects of our working styles that came up that we had to discuss and pursue clarity on. For example, I was much more detailed and more of a planner, and Jenn was less-detailed and prioritized finishing things quickly. We also had to be careful to understand that our working styles didn’t necessarily translate over to our relationship dynamics. Just because I preferred to plan in ministry and working topics didn’t mean that I wanted to plan every aspect of our date nights or household chores.

We learned to either offer or ask, “what hat are you wearing right now?” For example, I might be talking about our schedule for the week, but Jenn would be unclear if it was Steven the team and ministry leader talking, or Steven her husband talking. I would need to clarify that we were planning for the ministry schedule for the week, and after that was cleared we could set aside time to discuss personal things. Of course, it’s not always that clear and people are complicated, but pursuing clarity in your working styles can help husband and wife teams operate more smoothly.

Boundaries

For couples working and leading together, setting some boundaries will be helpful in preserving both your working relationship and marriage relationship. Some couples may have very integrated personal and working lives, whereas others might have stronger boundaries and more organization. Find out what works for you! Jenn and I (Steven) tend to be pretty interwoven in how we interact, but we did set some boundaries like not talking about work on date nights, or not talking about work 30 minutes before bedtime or after waking up. Some couples we know will have very clear delineations about not talking through personal issues during the workday, and not talking about work things during personal times. Others may set a weekly check-in to talk through work logistics.

Another boundary that we set early on was to not have conflict in front of team members when possible, and to speak as highly of each other as we could even if we were having a conflict. During our first year on the field, it felt like every time right before we would lead a team meeting, we would enter into a conflict without fail. But as we arrived at the meeting, we would say, “let’s put a pin in this.” It was our way of agreeing that the conflict was not resolved yet but we were both committed to discussing it later, and that we both needed to take a moment to let our emotions die down and focus on the current priority of leading the meeting or ministry activity.

It will take some time and trial to figure out what dynamic works for both the husband and wife. It’s important to be honest about your needs and preferences, but also to try your best to take on a Philippians 2 posture of putting others higher than ourselves. At some times, one or both of you might feel like you want to give up, that it’s too hard to figure it out. Our encouragement is that if this is something you’ve felt the Lord guiding you towards and something you both desire, it is worth the hard work of wading through the mess to learn how to work together with your best friend and lifetime companion!

Pursuing Clarity

While it can be a joy to lead with your spouse, adding another role into an already existing dynamic of husband and wife brings up a lot of questions. While some of these questions may feel uncomfortable, we encourage you to engage wholeheartedly with all of them until you reach a point of clarity and agreement. Otherwise, your working together will be seeped in conflict and misunderstanding. Based on our experience, here are some areas where couples who work and lead together need to be on the same page.

Theological Clarity – Early in our marriage, I (Jenn) had a deep fear of being the type of domineering woman Paul calls out in 1 Timothy 2. We had learned about marriage roles where the husband is the head of the family and wives were called to submit. But how did the husband’s headship over the family apply to our dynamic of working and leading together? We had to do the work of searching the scriptures, praying, seeking counsel from wise voices, and dialoguing with one another to figure out what we truly believed. 

Reaching theological clarity together is critical to ensuring that your marriage and ministry are in line with what God is calling you to do. Some questions to consider are: 

• What does the Bible say about the role of husbands and wives? How are they to relate to one another? How are they to relate to people in ministry?
• What does the Bible say about men and women in leadership? What leadership roles are available to women and to men? 
• What does the Bible say about men and women working together in ministry? 

After studying the Word and discussing with Steven, I felt freedom and confidence that I could step into a role of leadership without fear of disobeying the Bible.

Role Clarity – Once you are clear on your theological stance, you can begin to discuss roles and responsibilities in both your marriage, your ministry, and in leadership together. Both husband and wife bring their own unique spiritual gifts, strengths, and weaknesses into both marriage and ministry. This is a wonderful thing! Seek to build out your roles in a way that lines up with what you’ve discussed. Both spouses don’t have to do the exact same things, but can divide and conquer based on giftings and strengths and season of life. The goal is to be on the same page about what each person is expected to do and be accountable for in any given situation.

Clarity for Outside Stakeholders – Husbands and wives are not the only ones who need clarity. If you are working in ministry or leading together, there are other stakeholders who are impacted by your dynamic like your team, national partners, church, and organization. When I (Jenn) was elevated to a leadership role with Steven, it was important that I received a leadership title so that our teammates and organization knew that my decisions carried leadership weight. Teammates needed to understand me and Steven’s unique responsibilities in the leadership dynamic, so that they knew which of us they could bring certain issues or questions to. It’s especially important for husbands and wives to speak well of each other publicly as a way to create a united front, show mutual respect in your co-leadership and co-working, and to help those you lead and interact with to have confidence in your dynamic.

Similarly, your ministry partners will also need clarity. Steven and I both work with our national partner, Mint. In most meetings, I will initially connect relationally with Mint. I’ll ask her about her abiding, conflicts she’s having, how she’s feeling about any given topic. Mint knows those questions are coming from me and she’s become comfortable divulging more personal information to me. But she also knows Steven will ask her about her strategy, objectives, and goals. She also knows that she can ask us for almost anything and that Steven and I will be on the same page to try and help her.

Tools

Marriage Retreats – In the midst of cross-cultural living, ministry, and leadership, it can be hard to find a moment to communicate and connect with one another. Don’t forget, God is pleased when our marriages are healthy and centered on Him and on serving one another! We recommend setting at least an annual 2-3 day retreat to focus on your marriage. Objectives for this time would be for rest, deeper connection in your marriage, evaluating how your marriage and partnership is doing, and prayer and planning for the year. Calendar these retreats ahead of time and set them somewhere comfortable and outside of your context. 

Husband-Wife MOU – A helpful tool to establish clarity of roles and responsibilities between husband and wife is to create a Husband-Wife MOU. Categorize all the activities you are responsible for as individuals and as a couple and demarcate who takes ownership for what. It’s helpful to revisit this document regularly, as seasons of life and ministry might shift these things. Below is the MOU we created for our team. Feel free to use our template and adapt it to your context.

Conclusion

When I (Steven) was first entering into a season of being newly married and preparing to lead a team and ministry in Thailand, I felt a tension rising about how to prioritize my focus and time. As we went through pre-marital counseling and read marriage books, the overwhelming message was that your focus should be God above everything, then your marriage and family, and then everything else like your ministry or job.

But life and ministry overseas would require significant sacrifice that would affect our marriage. It wouldn’t be comfortable, things wouldn’t be easy, and there would be considerable challenges for our relationship. How could I reconcile wanting to prioritize my marriage in the context of responding to the call of missions that God had given so clearly?

I posed this question to one of my mentors, Caleb. He said something that has proven true over the last decade of marriage, ministry, and leadership.

“It’s not always so simple to prioritize things as God > marriage > ministry. Those things are intertwined. Loving God is loving my marriage. Loving my ministry is loving God. Loving my marriage is loving ministry.”

His point was that all of those things – your relationship with God, relationship with your spouse, and your ministry calling – all affect each other. Of course, any idolatry in your marriage or ministry will cause unhealth in the other dynamics. And there will absolutely be times that you should take a step back from ministry to work on your marriage or your relationship with God.

We can see this interwoven framework in Genesis 2 when God takes Adam to oversee the Garden of Eden. “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” It is within the context of pursuing his calling that God gives Adam a partner in Eve.

We believe that ministering and leading out of who you are as a married couple is a powerful witness that reflects God’s intention for marriage. Beyond being companions in life, you can also be partners in pursuing His calling. As you pursue clarity and learn how to lead together, we hope that your joy in marriage increases and reflects God’s glory to those around you!