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The Weightiness of Listening Prayer

Like we said in the last post, learning to increase our awareness of God with us and becoming more confident in hearing the Holy Spirit is a process. But as we grow in these things, we can be so confident in Him speaking to us that we can make weighty decisions based on what He is saying.

Last week I was talking to a worker on the field, who shared that as they were praying, they heard God tell them, “I want you to actually go apply for a visa to a country that has already rejected you.” And they knew that if they got rejected again they wouldn’t be able to get back in for the next 10 years. And they said, “OK God.” 

It’s a big risk! It’s gonna be a problem if they get rejected. But they get the visa! And the immigration officers tell them that they need to write down a local person’s name that is their host in the country. But if they write a local believer’s name on the visa, they might compromise the whole movement.

So they pray, and the whole team prays and listens and they all come up with the same name. And they call that woman, this local believer, and they say, “hey we were told to apply for a visa and they asked us to write down a name. Can we use your name?”

And she says, “Let me go ask the Lord.” She goes and listens and she says, “Yes, you can use my name. God told me to say yes.”

That’s weighty. Because that woman could end up in jail. Because you know what? Paul ends up in jail too. But God spoke – to that team, to that woman, and it’s OK because it’s on Him. And it doesn’t mean that because He responded that it’s going to be safe the whole way through. But if God is speaking to you, it means He is speaking to be with you and He will be with you the whole way through.

Ways to Practice Listening

So we already talked about the different ways that God can speak. When we are praying and receive thoughts, words, Scripture, emotions, images, memories, songs, etc., pay attention because it could be God speaking! Here’s some different practices you can try to increase in your listening prayer.

1. Finding a Place to Meet with God

One thing I’ve noticed, especially with Westerners, is that if we do silent prayer then it’s really easy for us to get distracted. Like your phone could buzz, you’re thinking about other stuff, there’s so much coming in. The world is coming in, your thoughts are coming in, and we’re not even very self aware in general. It’s almost like we don’t even know which ones are our own thoughts and which aren’t.

Here are some ideas about how to focus a little bit. This is what I did with my friend from the Middle East – I said, “what I want you to do first is to ask God for Him to show you a place to meet with Him.” This is a mental place – it could be a physical place God has shown you before, or maybe He hasn’t shown you it before.

It’s going to be a mental place that represents that you are entering into that space in your mind and you’re meeting with Jesus. So take a few minutes to ask God to show you a place to meet with you.

Ask Him for a place to meet with you and just listen. As you go into that spot, we know that God wants to meet with you. And He loves us and wants us to be focused to meet with Him, so that we can be present and encounter Him in our own mind.

I want you to remember that place. Anytime you’re in prayer, go back to that place He’s shown you. Even if I’m meeting with someone and I’m praying for them, I’ll go to that place and meet with Jesus and ask him, “what do you want me to say to them or pray for them?”

One fun thing for me is that when I meet with Jesus, I have a greeting that I do. Not everyone has these things but sometimes it’s helpful to hear someone else’s. After I connect with Jesus and we greet each other, we do an Egyptian-style hug. I learned it when I was on a trip to Egypt. It’s really neat! It’s changed from what I used to do before, which was more like a bro hug. But now it’s a little more intimate.

Sometimes he actually just grabs my shoulders and just looks at me for a bit, which means a lot to me. Then I usually bow and I’m going to receive either of two things. He gives me a ball which is the Holy Spirit, or a sword. Which is the Spirit of God and the Word of God. And I turn towards whoever I’m praying for, and I don’t try to think about what’s going to happen. Just start praying. And that’s my interaction with God.

Other people don’t have all those things, that’s just how God decided to communicate with me to let me know He’s giving something for that other person.

If you were just now listening and asked God for a place, it’s OK if that’s not what God gave you. It could even be that He wants it to just be everywhere for you and you don’t need that. Having that place is a good idea and helpful for some people, but doesn’t mean that is necessarily something for you. He has a relationship with you – so walk in confidence and oneness and boldness that Jesus loves you.

2. Soaking and Waiting

A lot of times when we are praying, we are asking God for something or interceding for someone. So we’re bringing our requests to the Lord, and that’s good – He tells us to do that.

But if you’re new to listening prayer, it can be rare for you to just come to God with no agenda and just wait and see what He wants to say. Soaking is just a term for sitting and taking in God’s presence and waiting for Him to speak. We are soaking in God’s presence like a sponge soaks in water.

First, get rid of any other distractions – put your phone on silent, go to a quiet space for prayer. If God gave you a place for you to meet in your mind, go and meet him in that place.

For some people, it can be helpful to put on some acoustic or mellow worship music, or even these compilations of ambient worship music specifically made for soaking prayer. This instrumental version is one of my favorites.

Get into a comfortable position, and just wait. Try to clear your mind of distractions. Sometimes holding your hands open as a posture of surrender and receiving can be helpful. To begin, you can just try 10 minutes, or go as long as you like. If the Lord brings to mind a verse, a person, a word, an emotion, an image, a vision, or anything that you might think is from Him, try to remember it or just quickly jot it down into a notebook.

After you get that initial thing from the Lord, feel free to ask follow up questions. “God, what do you want me to know about this? Is there someone I should share this with? Is there Scripture that goes along with this?”

Soaking can be a good way for us to get used to entering into God’s presence. The more we do it and the more we’re used to noticing when God speaks, the quicker and more confident we’ll become as we grow.

For soaking, it’s best to go in with no agenda and just wait for God’s presence. But as you learn what it feels like when He is drawing near and speaking, you can ask questions and get answers from Him quicker as well. Questions can be as simple as, “God what do you want me to do in this situation?”

But also ask Him questions like, “God, how do you see me? God, what hurts your heart right now? What are you really proud of right now?”

In relationship, don’t just ask for things that you need! We want to know God more!

3. Folding Paper Activity

I think one of the best things that comes out of growing in listening prayer is hearing what the Lord wants to communicate for someone else when you’re praying for them.

One of the things we do is to have a group of 3-4 and take turns all praying for one person. When we do group prayer and pray for a person, it’s usually to encourage them. And it’s things that God wants to say to them about their situation now, who they are. And when you have 3 or 4 people doing that, it’s fun because you can be affirmed in your ability to listen when there is a similar theme with someone else because we all have the same Holy Spirit!

But if you’re not confident yet in listening to the Spirit and praying that over someone, one of the activities you can do to grow in listening for a person is the Folding Paper Activity. You start by writing a name on the top of a piece of paper and we fold it back so nobody can see it. Because sometimes when you know someone, you start projecting what you want to pray into them. But you fold it over so you can’t see the name, and you pass it out randomly. You don’t know the name on the paper you have but you start listening to God for about 5 minutes and write down whatever you get. Then fold it over so that your words are covered and everyone passes it to the person on their right and listen again.

After you’ve gone enough times that everyone in the group has prayed over one person’s paper (e.g. 6 times if you have a group of 6), unfold the top to see the name and hand the paper back to that person. After everyone has had a chance to read through the words, you can let people share with the group something that stood out to them, that encouraged them, or a theme that they noticed.

And yes, you will have listened for yourself on your own paper without knowing it. Sometimes that’s the most interesting one, because the Lord speaks something to you and you don’t know who it’s for, but it ends up being a word for you! We had one person say – “I feel like I heard this encouragement when I was praying and wrote it down, not knowing it was my piece of paper. I have a hard time believing these words for myself but when hearing it from God for someone else I believed it! So I should believe it for myself as well!”

It would get to a place in our group that when I was handed the piece of paper and couldn’t see the name, I would start listening and God would show me the same thing about that person and I would know who it is. He showed Ellie flying, or he showed Stephanie in a garden, or he would always say about Julian, ‘this is my friend.’

It’s really affirming to get that because I’m hearing God! It’s not that I’m the one giving them some Word but God is. Because I want to be like Philip when he gets close to the Ethiopian eunuch, recognizing God’s voice and having the boldness to say it. So you’re building that when you practice in a group and it’s a safe place to build that.

In general for an activity like this or as you’re learning how to listen for other people, it’s better to keep things more towards encouragement than towards exhorting or rebuking. If you have a strong sense that a word of exhortation is from the Lord, you might make a note of it and bring it up to a person privately, or to your leader and ask them to give their discernment about if and how to share it.

How Do I Know If It’s God Speaking?

On a trip to the Middle East, we were trying to meet new people on campus and talked about listening to God with a Muslim girl. She asked, “How do I know it’s from God?” That’s a great question – many times that can be our biggest fear when it comes to listening prayer. How do we know it’s from God? This is where discernment comes in. 

• Test the spirits: 1 John 4:1 tells us to “not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God.” John goes on to give us a clear parameter in verses 2 and 3. “By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God.” In discerning listening prayer, John highlights that things that affirm the Lordship of Jesus are from the Spirit. Anything that disagrees with that is not from God.

• Consistent with Scripture: I’ll reemphasize that these posts are not trying to change anyone’s theology. But I think any theological background would agree that whatever we receive through listening prayer should be consistent with Scripture. If you hear anything that explicitly contradicts Scripture, that should be disregarded. Additionally, even if something you hear is consistent with Scripture, no word that we get from listening should be elevated on the same level as or above Scripture. Many times, if you hear something in listening prayer, we’d encourage people to find 2 or 3 verses that support that word or at least speak on that topic, and interpret the word they hear together with Scripture.

• Fruit of the Spirit: Another passage that comes to mind when discerning if the Spirit is speaking is Galatians 5. Paul outlines desires of the flesh that are against the Spirit, and fruits of the Spirit that are borne out of walking with the Spirit: “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law” (Galatians 5:22). Does this word I’m hearing from the Spirit produce peace or dissension? Is it a gentle word or a harsh word? Is my motivation to share this out of love or out of being judgemental?

• Against Shame, Guilt, and Fear: In the opposite direction, if a word in listening prayer produces shame, guilt, or fear, we can be confident it’s not from the Lord. 2 Timothy 1:7 tells us that “God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self control.” Shame, guilt, and fear keep us in a cycle of being afraid of God or against God. God speaks through the Spirit to draw us nearer to him. That is not to say that the Holy Spirit won’t convict of sin (John 16:8), and there may be things that you hear in prayer that lead to genuine conviction of sin and a desire for repentance. But that is different from guilt, shame, and fear.

• Encouraging towards Others: As a general rule, if you’re newer to listening prayer, we’d again say a good guideline is to keep towards things that are encouraging and uplifting. 1 Corinthians 14:3 says, “the one who prophesies speaks to people for their upbuilding and encouragement and consolation.” If there’s words that you think might be for someone towards exhortation, write it down, pray about it and check it, run it by other community or leaders, and plan to share it carefully. With encouragement, it’s much easier and safer to go ahead and share it for someone else’s edification!

• Affirmed in Community: Paul in Ephesians 4:4 tells us that we have one Spirit – meaning that when we hear things in listening prayer, hopefully the Spirit is saying those same things to others as well! This is not to say that every time you do listening prayer in a group, everyone will agree. But if there is disagreement, or other people hear what you share and there isn’t peace, it’s worth figuring out what exactly is happening underneath. That’s why we encourage people to practice listening prayer in a safe space with trusted community. When we start to do listening prayer exclusively on our own, and tell other people that “God told me this” and won’t take feedback or disagreement from community, we run the risk of falling into pride.
• Glorifying God and Advancing His Kingdom: Lastly, words from God will bring glory to God and help to advance His Kingdom. So much of the book of Acts contains examples of the disciples hearing from the Lord in prayer and being filled with boldness to share the gospel even in the midst of persecution. The Lord will bring to mind people and places that you are meant to show love to and share the gospel with!

Conclusion

We (Steven and Jenn) want to thank Steve Dekkers so much for contributing his wisdom and insight in these posts on listening prayer! We hope these guidelines and activities will be helpful to you as you continue learning how to hear from the Spirit.

Lastly, we wanted to leave you all with one more exhortation and encouragement.

In 1 Thessalonians 5, Paul leaves some final thoughts with the church in Thessalonica, including to pray without ceasing. In verse 20, he gives a short but direct command: “Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise prophecies, but test everything; hold fast what is good.”

Some might think, “I don’t need listening prayer since I have the Bible.” But so many of the examples in the Bible show a rich, two-way communication between God and His people. And Paul explicitly tells us to not quench the Spirit by throwing away anything that might come from prophecy or listening. It comes with the caution to test those prophecies and hold fast to what is good. But we are commanded to not quench what the Spirit is trying to tell us. Listening prayer is one of those ways that the Lord might be trying to speak with you, in order to increase the intimacy of your relationship with Him! Will you respond to Him?

And our encouragement is this – when you begin to familiarize yourself with His voice, your abiding and fruitfulness will surely increase! Steve has mentioned a few examples of why it’s so important to learn to hear God’s voice as workers on the field out of necessity. But listening prayer can also become one of your most powerful tools to see the gospel multiply among the unreached.

Some of our friends have helped to catalyze one of the biggest movements in the world with hundreds of thousands of churches planted, and their case study is called the Listening movement. One of their main tools when hitting roadblocks or setting goals is simply, with their partners, to stop, ask the Lord, and listen.

“Prayer is the work. Listening is an important part of prayer. There have been so many changes along the way and so many questions: What’s next? Should we work with this person? What should we train? Is this a dead end? We’ve had so many questions and we’ve learned to sit and wait for God’s answer. Usually he gives the expat team and our national partners the same answers, and we don’t even know it until our next biweekly meeting.”

– Listening Movement Leader

It’s a humbling reminder to us that the work belongs completely to the Lord. He knows our steps, and He is the one who has prepared good works for us to step into. How limited are we if we aren’t listening to what He wants for us, in every moment of every day? And if we would stop and humble ourselves to hear from Him, how much more fruitful and abiding could we become?

Prayer is first of all listening to God. It’s openness. God is always speaking; he’s always doing something. Prayer is to enter into that activity…Convert your thoughts into prayer. As we are involved in unceasing thinking, so we are called to unceasing prayer. The difference is not that prayer is thinking about other things, but that prayer is thinking in dialogue…a conversation with God.

– Henri Nouwen

Filter Selectively

Even though we cast vision to anyone that will listen, team leaders should filter who actually joins their team very selectively. There are a few different things you can do to find out if a recruit is the type of person you truly want for your team. This requires asking many questions to understand them more, probing into things like motivation and passion. If you’re curious or unsure, don’t be afraid to ask – it’s always better to hear a potential recruit’s response over guessing or assuming.

Prioritize character over gifting. All goers have to hit a minimum standard for spiritual maturity and character, or they will be difficult to lead in the stress of a cross-cultural field context. Do they have a rich and abiding relationship with the Lord? Do they have any spiritual bondages that they haven’t seen consistent victory over yet (generally, the minimum is 6 months of sobriety or freedom over a sin addiction before launching to the field)? Is there anything significantly lacking in their character or in bearing fruit of the Spirit? Look especially for humility, patience, perseverance, flexibility, and faith, as these are critically important on the field. Many times, agencies will have a clear standard for who to deploy, and evaluations to help determine a goer’s readiness. It’s a good idea to take their list and even add more of your own values from your own team. If your agency does not have a list like this, you can use the personal evaluation we developed as a baseline. 

Consider their experience and track record. Can they do the job or role you’re inviting them to do on your team? Ask questions looking for demonstrated competency. Anyone can answer that they are ‘passionate’ about something, but see if they have at least some proven experience in doing the main activities in your ministry (e.g. training, evangelism, disciple making, etc.).

Check their references. A potential recruit will always put their best foot forward when going through the recruiting process, not unlike the first few dates with a new person! Ask them for references – their peers, their leaders, people they’ve led – and ask thorough and direct questions about the areas that you need to check them on like character, calling, strengths, and weaknesses.

Don’t be afraid to say “No” or “Not yet.” If you’re hearing from God that they won’t be a good fit for your team, don’t be afraid to tell them that. Sometimes as leaders we feel bad about influencing such a significant decision in a recruit’s lives and then closing the door. But ultimately, it’ll be better for them and for the team to not continue on in the process if they aren’t a good fit. This can happen at any point in the process. It can sometimes be helpful to provide gentle but clear feedback about why they might not be a good fit for your team, and propose areas of development. However, once you say no or not yet to joining the team, don’t be the one to take responsibility for their development. This can cause you unnecessary burden when team leaders already have so much they need to focus on. Let them have the opportunity to work on their own development in their home context, as this is a good indicator of their humility and initiative. We’d also heavily caution you to not just take whoever your mission agency proposes – each team is different and you should do your own homework about whether the potential recruit is a good fit and has acceptable character and calling to persevere on your team. Take the agency’s recommendation as one proof point and continue to discern and filter yourself.

Discern Their Fit

Along with evaluating their character and competency, you’ll be simultaneously getting to know their giftings, strengths, and personality to see if they’ll be a good fit with your leadership, your team, and your ministry.

Role, Strengths, Weaknesses: Get to know a recruit’s strengths and weaknesses and think through what potential role they play on your team or ministry. Find giftings that are generally complementary to your leadership and your team. For example, if you have no administratively gifted people on your team and need that help, try to find those that might have that gifting. Other than just asking questions, helpful tools to discern giftings and aptitudes include spiritual gifts inventories (like this one from Robert Clinton), Clifton Strengths, enneagram, etc. in order to get a generalized view into what their strengths and weaknesses might be. As weaknesses surface, also factor them into your team makeup to see if there’s any glaring deficiencies on your team as a whole.

Responsive to your leadership: See if the potential recruit is a person who is responsive to your style of leadership. For example, if you are a hands off type of leader that expects a lot of self initiative and the recruit is a person that needs more directive and detailed leadership, that is an aspect to consider. Or, a family might have reservations being led by a single person. Perhaps another person on your team could help provide some more leadership, but ultimately you want to make sure they are willing to submit to your leadership decisions and work with your style.

Look for diversity / variety on your team: Although you’re looking for the potential recruit to be responsive to your leadership, you also want to value and look for diversity and variety on your team. Recruiting a team that all thinks and acts like you means that you will lack perspectives and giftings that could help your team to thrive or be effective on the field.

General chemistry: How is the general chemistry between this person and you and your team? Learn about their hobbies, values, family of origin, lifestyle, etc. These might not be make or break issues but it’s good to be aware of where there might be friction points. 

Let teammates or others you trust interact with them: Lastly, let your teammates or those you trust interact with the potential recruits! As the TL, you’ll likely drive the process of getting to know them, but try and set up times for teammates to get to know their potential future teammates and solicit feedback from them about the recruit. Your experience may vary, but because adding a new teammate is such an impactful event, we ask that all of our current teammates have consensus with adding them before we make a formal invite. Adding a new teammate at the disapproval of a current teammate is like one step forward and five steps back.

Pray, fast, and ask the Lord: Selection is a critical component of discipleship, as we see from Robert Coleman’s Master Plan of Evangelism. And a huge aspect of selection is hearing from the Lord. We can see Jesus model this for us in the choosing of the 12:

In these days he went out to the mountain to pray, and all night he continued in prayer to God. And when day came, he called his disciples and chose from them twelve, whom he named apostles. (Luke 6:12-13)

We set time aside to pray and fast all throughout the process of considering a recruit, and ask the recruit and our current teammates to do so as well. Don’t skip this step! There are few decisions as impactful on a team as who you recruit, so spend the necessary time to bring recruits through the process and have clarity from the Lord.

Provide Clear Next Steps and Process Overview

At each point of the process, you want to provide clear expectations and next steps as much as possible to the recruit. A next step could include praying and processing what they’ve learned, talking to a teammate, taking a vision trip, or inviting them to a ministry or team event. Remember that this is a weighty decision for their lives and calling, so clarity is kindness.

If you’re serious about having them enter the recruiting process to potentially join your team, give them a clear expectation of the process and timeline. A simple one-page document outlining this can be very helpful. Also make it clear to them that you’re inviting them to start the recruiting process, which is different from an invitation to join the team!

Work together with your sending agency in terms of assessments and other logistical aspects. As the TL you will probably drive more of the personal connection and discernment parts, as well as connecting them to the right people in your agency.

Once you’ve had the initial conversations and done the relevant assessments and evaluations, we’d strongly recommend that the recruit comes on a vision trip for at least a week if possible. Interacting with them in-person and with the team is completely different than on Zoom calls. And allowing them to engage with the culture, people, and environment of your field is a critical piece of the discernment process, for both you them. Some recruits that we thought were slam-dunks came on vision trips and felt strongly from the Lord or personally that Thailand wasn’t a good fit – which is way better to know before they join the team than after!

Make A Compelling Ask

Lastly, after you’ve gotten to know them, gone through all the necessary assessments and meetings, discussed with your team, and prayed and listened to the Lord, if you still feel that they are a good fit for your team, make a clear and compelling ask! “We feel like you could be a great fit on our team and we’d love for you to join us. We’d like to invite you to join our team! Take some time to pray and consult others and let us know in the next 1-2 weeks.” If possible, try to make the occasion special through a nice meal or a gift! In all likelihood, unless they are also looking at other teams, by the time you’re ready to make an ask they are probably ready and expectant to join.

Conclusion

Recruiting is much more of an art of discernment than a scientific process, but hopefully the guidelines above give you a grid of what to think and work through in recruiting someone to your team. As a TL, there will be different seasons where recruiting may take up a lot of your time versus other seasons when it’s quieter. As you pray and plan for the future of your team, consider the resources you have – your people! – and whether you need to add more. The onramp for a recruit from when you get to know them to when they are on your team, through language and culture, and contributing as a teammate is VERY long, potentially multiple months or years depending on language learning. Even if you don’t think you need a teammate today, be open to casting vision broadly and seeing who God might bring in front of you! Remember, recruiting leaders will almost always help to multiply your team, ministry, and impact.

To bring the soup terrine story to its conclusion, this couple that first gifted us the soup terrine now leads one of the new teams in Thailand after our team expansion in 2020, and are some of our closest friends in the world. The night of Jenn’s seizure, when they heard what was happening, they immediately booked flights to be with us in the hospital without even asking me first. After 10 years on the field, our relationship with them has gone far beyond ministry teammates.

Our prayer is that the Lord would provide teammates, partners, and friends of this quality on your teams!

Questions for Reflection

• How much do you prioritize recruiting and casting vision as a key responsibility for a leader and why? How high of a priority should recruiting be for you in this next season?
• What areas of the recruiting process do you feel confident in? What areas do you feel less confident in? What can you do to improve in those areas or invite others to help?
• Do you have other potential leaders on your team that you can develop or rely on?
• Are there any specific roles or giftings that you feel that your team has a need for?
• Do you have networks of potential goers that you can recruit from? Is there someone you know from your home context that can advocate for your team and need, and find potential leads for you?
• How many leaders and teams could potentially be needed to fulfill the vision God has called you to?

One of the responsibilities of a Team Leader is to recruit the right teammates onto your team. We’re often asked many questions around the area of recruiting, including:

“How do I know if someone’s right for my team?”
“How do I cast compelling vision for someone to join?”
“Should I prioritize role fit, gifting, or character?”

We hope to answer these questions and more to help you figure out the process of recruiting and building a thriving team overseas! In part 1, we’ll address the overall process of recruiting, and more of the front end activities to find potential recruits. In part 2, we’ll talk about how to filter for the right teammates and discern their fit on your team, as well as how to close the deal and invite them to your team!

The Legendary Soup Terrine

When we first were preparing to launch, Jenn and I [Steven] were the team leaders and about to get married but everyone else on our team was single at the time. We knew for our relational thriving that it’d be important to recruit another married couple on the team. We also needed some teammates that were administratively gifted to help us navigate all the needs on the field.

One couple in particular seemed to fit the bill. The wife had been in a year-long development cohort at our church with Jenn and had developed a good friendship with her. This couple were looking to launch overseas but had several other invites from way more established and impressive team leaders than our extremely inexperienced selves.

We invited them to start the process, shared our vision with them, and even brought them on a vision trip to Thailand (one month before our wedding – much to Jenn’s displeasure as she tried to plan our wedding). And then we formally invited them to join our team, asking that they would give us a response in two weeks.

After two weeks, they asked us to come over to their apartment to talk about their decision. By then, they had already gone on another vision trip to visit another team and had three other very good options on the table. As we pulled into the parking lot, Jenn and I were sure that we were going into a breakup conversation and that they would tell us they were joining another shinier, more impressive team. “Sorry, it’s not you, it’s me!”

We trudged up to their apartment and had an hour and a half of small talk and catching up. Inside, I thought, “Just rip the bandaid off already and tell us you’re not joining!”

Finally, they said, “we have an early wedding present for you!” And brought out an enormous cardboard box that could have fit a person inside of it. As we tentatively opened it, there were more boxes and more newspaper wrapping. Finally, we opened the last box, and inside was a large soup terrine like the one in the picture below.

As I opened the soup terrine, there was a small folded up piece of paper with the text “เราอยู่ข้างใน” – of course I had no idea what this meant. And in 4 point size font in the bottom corner, the translation: _{(we’re in!!!!!!)}

Jenn immediately burst into tears as I gave a huge sigh of relief. We had new teammates! 

Funny enough, three years later, we found out the Thai was completely wrong, and translated more to something like “we’re inside [the box]” but that just makes it funnier. As we recruited more teammates or current teammates got married, the soup terrine was gifted to 5 more couples over the next 10 years! And of course, no one has any use for it and it refuses to fit in any normal cabinet. It’s simultaneously an annoyance and a heart-warming reminder of how God has blessed our team not only with great teammates, but life-long friends.

Recruiting is (kind of) Like Dating

When you’re looking for a new job in the for-profit world, many times there’s an application and one or two interviews before you start at a new job. That’s not very much to figure out if someone is a good fit at a new job. But there’s always the option of firing them if they don’t fit!

Recruiting someone to an overseas missions team is very different from hiring for a job. In many ways, it’s more akin to dating than hiring! Unlike marriage, being a part of a missions team isn’t “until death do us part.” But it takes a lot of momentum and cost for a new teammate to go through a process of preparing, selling everything, saying goodbyes, and transitioning to the field. And it takes the team leader and the team a lot of energy to welcome a new teammate and go through another round of Team Formation (forming-storming-norming-performing) with every new teammate. Just one teammate that is not well prepared, relationally difficult, or a bad fit can cause a ton of sideways energy on an otherwise healthy and effective team, or in the worst-case scenario, cause enough carnage to send the whole team home. We unfortunately know more than a few stories of friends that were on teams like these.

At the same time, it’s critical that a team leader knows how to identify, discern, and compellingly invite new teammates to the field. For one, there’s so much turnover and attrition on missions teams for various reasons like unstable visas, health emergencies, or unavoidable circumstances – though hopefully not for team conflict or character reasons if a team leader does a good job recruiting the right people. Secondly, the vision that God has given you should outpace your own ability to see it to completion! That requires recruiting leaders and teammates to either add to your team, or to help expand and multiply to start new teams that own a piece of that vision.

For those of you that are married or who have friends that are married, how many dates did it take to pop the question? Obviously, a recruiting process can’t be that robust. But we’d encourage team leaders to take recruiting as a process, and not just a one-and-done event.

In our time as team leaders, we’ve onboarded 20 new teammates, had 30+ go through our recruiting process, and had initial vision casting conversations with 75+ people. Below are some of the guidelines and lessons we’ve learned in the process of recruiting new teammates to overseas work.

Recruiting Guidelines

Always have a mindset of recruiting leaders.

If it wasn’t clear, this is a blog about leaders. In our experience, the greatest bottleneck of seeing expansion and health in your team and ministry is a lack of leaders. Our recommendation would be that every TL have someone on the team that they are developing to either replace themselves or to expand to a new team. Part of that is redundancy if you have to leave the field, but it is also the potential to grow into new opportunities that the Lord provides. Even if you feel that your team is “full,” always be willing and open to receive more leader-type people.

Connect with networks to recruit from.

In order to even begin recruiting and casting vision, you need a pool of potential goers to recruit from. Many times, being a part of a missions agency will provide that pool. Find local churches that are passionate about deploying goers, or keep an eye out for other missions-related networks like conferences or prayer groups. Having a home-side advocate keep an eye out for potential recruits can be a huge help.

Cast vision broadly and specifically.

Cast vision broadly to anyone who will hear, but also cast vision specifically to the audience you’re speaking to. When you meet potential goers that could join your team, cast vision broadly! As a leader, you should always be casting compelling vision for the need and opportunity in your ministry to anyone who will listen – they may end up being interested as a teammate, or a supporter or advocate.

Sometimes casting vision will be to a group of people, and other times it will be 1-on-1. Try to shape your vision casting to your audience. You want to be a “sniper” not a “shotgun” in your vision casting; cast vision to the desire you hear in them when they share (e.g. impact, purpose, community, etc.). What does the person you’re talking to value in a team or ministry opportunity?

In order to cast vision specifically, listen well and ask good questions:

• How did you come to start following Jesus?
• How did you get involved or feel a call to missions?
• Where have you felt God has been leading you recently?
• What types of spiritual gifts or strengths do you have?
• How has your experience been in preparing to go overseas?
• What passions do you feel like God has given you? (What makes you “pound the table?”)

Listen well to how they answer these types of questions, and craft your vision casting to their passions and values. Listening to what they value also helps you to discern their fit on your team.

Ways to Cast Vision

How do you cast vision? Here are a couple of methods:

From the Word.

It’s always good to have a few verses that are your key convictions for the vision God has given you for your ministry. Many times, these Scriptural convictions could be shared by the other person. Some of our go-to verses are Matthew 28:18-20, Revelation 7:9-10, Matthew 24:14, Acts 19:10, Psalm 2, and Isaiah 45 among many others.

Sharing About the Need of the People and Place.

Hudson Taylor would constantly write and speak about the need among China’s 350 million people without the gospel. In his 54 years of ministry in China, he ended up mobilizing nearly 800 long-term workers to China’s Millions and influencing countless others to go. Is recruiting important? Hudson Taylor seemed to think so. In that 54 years, he took 10 round trips from the West to China and back, totaling 11 years(!) on a ship, with his 11th and final trip at age 73, which ended up as a one-way trip as he died in China in 1905. 

For your ministry vision, how many people don’t have access to the gospel? What are the spiritual needs among your people (addiction, spiritual bondage, social issues)?

What is God doing among this people and place? Tell stories of God answering prayers, people coming to faith, critical events that open doors to the gospel.

Describing the Role You Envision Them Playing.

Many people can get easily excited about the need and opportunity in most places among the unreached, but what they really want to know is – what’s my role in it? How can I make an impact in that? Cast vision about the role you could see them playing on the team and in the ministry – how do their gifts and values align with what your team is doing and what God is doing? Again, this requires listening to them well first.

Lastly, let your own passion and conviction come out when you cast vision. God has called you to give your life to see the gospel go forward among the unreached. Whether it’s a verse, or a story, or an experience that moved your heart to say yes to God, let that come out! People are drawn to the passion and emotion that a leader expresses when sharing about their vision.

Now that you have a decent pool of potential recruits that are interested in your team, it’s time to focus on making sure they’re the right quality and fit for your team. More in part 2!

Leadership Foundations Part 2: Why Are Leaders Needed?

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In the last two posts of the Leadership Foundations series, we covered the definition of leadership and some leadership principles, and answered the question – Why are leaders needed?

In this post, we’ll explore a question that many aspiring leaders ask: how do I know if I’m a leader? What does discerning a role of leadership in missions look like?

Discerning is a Process

Discerning whether God is calling you to be a leader is a process and shouldn’t be taken lightly or done too quickly. Many times on overseas field teams and in ministry in general, there is a ‘next man up’ view of leadership, meaning that whoever is available to be the leader will be regardless of calling, gifting, capacity, or character. The benefit of this reality is that there are many opportunities for leadership overseas because of the great need for leaders among the unreached – many leaders may need to return from the field for a variety of reasons (health, conflict, visas, etc.). The downside for this ‘next man (or woman) up’ view is that there can be very little discernment, clarity, preparation, or support for people who find themselves in a leadership role all of a sudden. This can lead to missed expectations, disappointment, and burnout for the leader and their team – and then, it’s the next next man up, perpetuating a cycle of poor leadership transitions and unprepared leaders.

In many biblical leaders’ lives, there is a process of testing, discernment, and development that God uses to help those leaders grow into the person that is prepared to lead, and for that leader to gain clarity and confidence in the role of leadership that God is calling them to. Between the time that David is anointed by Samuel to become King at around age 15, and when he is actually crowned as King at age 30, David endures 15 years of continuing as a shepherd, fighting Goliath, becoming one of Saul’s commanders, and even running for his life from Saul. During that time, I’m sure David may have asked himself the question, “Am I really supposed to be King?” Through all the testing and trial, God solidified David’s confidence in his calling to be King, as well as developed him into the person he needed to be God-glorifying in that role. Similarly, Paul had 13 years between his conversion on the road to Damascus where Jesus tells him that he is the “chosen instrument” to bring the Gospel to the Gentiles, and when he is sent out with Barnabas from Antioch on the first missionary journey. This time was filled with testing (Paul had to escape persecution), development, and discernment as well. For the record, we’re not saying it will take over a decade for you to discern whether you’re a leader, but just wanted to provide some biblical examples of the discernment / development process that God has many leaders go through before they step into the position of leadership.

In our opinion, your calling towards field leadership should be as solid as your calling to go overseas. The burden and responsibility of leadership can be as challenging, if not moreso, than the stressors of cross-cultural life and ministry. If this is true, then your calling towards leadership, and your preparation towards it, should be considered and pursued with intention!

Questions For Discernment

Here are some aspects to consider in your discernment for your preparedness and calling as a leader:

1. Have you been leading? How did that go, and where do you have room to grow? Have you ever led – anything? Experience leading in ministry settings would be great – this could include the welcome team at church on Sundays or a small group or a discipleship group. Even in non-ministry settings, have you ever been a leader on your sports team or in your workplace? How was your experience of leading – did people follow you? What was good and bad about that?
   
   If you haven’t ever led something clearly and you have an aspiration to, talk to a leader or mentor in your church or ministry. See if there are chances to lead by SERVING in your church, or by inviting others to join into a disciple-making team. (If you’re interested in how to start a disciple-making team, please contact us! One of the resources we use to help people get started is this book: Spiritual Multiplication in the Real World.)
   
2. Does your community (those that lead you, work alongside you, or follow you) affirm leadership in you? Ask your discipler, mentor, or leader and those in your church that know you if they sense or see leadership in you. Tell them, ‘I’m sensing that God might be calling me to step into a role of leadership in going overseas: what do you think? How can I grow? What are my strengths and weaknesses as a leader?’ It takes a lot of humility and a lot of courage to ask these questions. Be humble and receive the feedback – even if it is hearing, ‘you haven’t really been a leader yet and need to develop quite a bit before you can step into that role.’ The timing of entering into leadership is up to God.
   
3. Reflect on your motivations of being a leader. Is it for recognition or approval? Or to be faithful to God’s calling, and to serve others? In 1 Peter 5, Peter gives the elders and shepherds, spiritual leaders of God’s people, an exhortation for what motivations they are to have as leaders – ‘not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.’ A lot of leaders will struggle with pride, and it’s super dangerous. Just two verses later, Peter says that God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Ask God to give you a humble heart, and to help you surrender any prideful motivations to instead be a humble and servant leader.
   
4. Spend time in prayer and listening. Ask God if a role of leadership is what He has for you. Ask Him how you need to develop. Submit to God’s calling one way or another, even if He is saying that you aren’t ready or just not yet. Ultimately, the best place to be is submitted to whatever role that God has for you. But I’m willing to bet that for many of you, He may be calling you into a role of serving through leading.
   
5. Count the Cost. As you discern whether or not you have a calling for leadership, it’s imperative that you take time to count the cost. Leadership is a heavy responsibility, and if leadership truly is serving, then it requires you to be thinking of your people and their needs, often even above your own. Are you willing to longsuffer with your people, and bear their burdens with them? Are you willing to sacrifice time to yourself or with your family for the sake of those you lead? Are you willing to go first, which many times includes failing first, in many ministry endeavors? Are you willing to engage in conflict and hard conversations as you develop those God has given to you? Will you give up your sleep and your free time and your preferences? Are you willing to take responsibility for the health, thriving, and direction of your team and teammates? If some of these things feel difficult to say ‘yes’ to, then process that with the Lord and ask him why you feel tension. Sometimes, this might reveal where we need to grow, and sometimes it might show us we aren’t quite ready for leadership yet.
   
   In our first year, Jenn and I were dealing with all the same cross-cultural stressors and difficulties of transitioning to the field. Learning a new language and culture is certainly a significant enough challenge! But as leaders, we were responsible for helping our teammates through those transitions as well. Whether it was helping a couple on our team through marital issues, staying with a teammate who was in the hospital for over a month, or mediating a conflict between team members, as leaders, we were called to be present, serve, and lead those that God had entrusted to us.
   
   Counting the cost does not mean just considering all the difficulties – the cost includes the reward. In that very same passage where Peter exhorts the spiritual leaders, he points us to the great and lasting reward given to those faithful in leadership.

“And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory.”

1 Peter 5:4

Ultimately, our role is to point those that we lead to the chief Shepherd – who shepherds those on our teams but also shepherds and cares for us! Are you willing to respond in obedience to God’s call on your life to not only go, but to lead others? The reward is to reign and rule with Christ in glory for all time.